Which Christmas Are You? Part One

Part One | Part Two | Part Three

It’s Christmas, so we all know what that means. Eating crumberries under the cramble bush. Building the snow man. Waiting up after your parents have gone to bed to catch sight of Doctor Crambles, the Lord of Cramblemas, to witness his gestures.

I’ve always fallen asleep while waiting up for Doctor Crambles, exhausted from the festive shouting. But which Christmas are you? Scroll down and take the Crimblemas Cwiz to find out. The answer may alarm you.

My favourite cramble is:
(a) Doctor Crambles, obviously
(b) The Christmas Cramble
(c) Jesus Cramble

You are hungry:
(a) Time for a hot crimble stew
(b) A small slice of crumberry cake for me!
(c) It is Crambus

On Cramblemas you will always find me:
(a) Singing the Crimblesong
(b) Outside where I belong
(c) Hiding from Doctor Crambles

How do you adorn the cramble bush?
(a) A tinsel and a bauble
(b) Four tinsels and no bauble
(c) N/A [— UNADORNED —]

Who is the best reindeer of them all?
(a) Good Rudolph
(b) Bad Rudolph
(c) Screaming Rudolph, ♪♪ whose screams scream the way, for Doctor Crambles’ sleigh ♪♪

Complete the famous Crimblemas lyric: Get out, get out _______
(a) It’s Crimblemas you idiot
(b) Get outside where you belong
(c) Doctor Crambles is inside the house

Do you like building the snow man?
(a) Yes, the snow man embodies the spirit of Crimble
(b) No, the snow man represents Cramble
(c) The snow man must be built, my feelings are of no consequence

So how did you cromble.

Mostly As:
You are Crangle the elf, who built the snow man in the outside.

Mostly Bs:
You are mostly bees.

Mostly Cs:
You are Doctor Crambles himself, whose gestures are known to all who do not sleep, and to those who wait near the Cramblebush, and who do not move, especially not even when He arrives and is There.

This quiz originally appeared in Episode 120 of Regular Features.

Like what you read? Give Steve Hogarty a round of applause.

From a quick cheer to a standing ovation, clap to show how much you enjoyed this story.