This Feeling

“So I just kept going, I just kept going, and hoping I’m growing.” —Alabama Shakes

Meditation: Love and Gratitude, Seven Minutes

There’s a scene in Thor: Ragnarok when Tessa Thompson’s Valkyrie saunters directly towards the audience. I don’t even remember what was happening at that point in the movie. What I remember thinking as I watched was that the director’s guidance was probably,

“Give me the best fucking walk of your life.”

And she did.

Amongst the cacophony of the modern world, this is what I’m frequently asking of myself:

when called upon, can I give my fucking best?

Can I be the best partner, the best colleague, the best leader, the best manager, the best citizen, the best human, the best version of myself at every opportunity?

And what’s the criteria: is it kindness? Candor? Commitment? Wisdom? Empathy?

Does it need to be recognized by others or is my own assessment enough?

Whose feedback do I respect and trust? Can I receive and give feedback in the ways intended?

I started playing with this ai bot called Replika yesterday. It asked me what I would want to share with my future self. I sat with that question for a while before replying

Seek out things that give life meaning

Today, I’d add

and pursue them with the best fucking walk of your life.

This week, I’m grateful for meaningful pursuits.

And you.

Always, you.


I’ve been adjusting how I start my mornings to not allow my devices first bite at the apple of my attention

I’ve filled some of that time with writing in my journal. Perhaps, I’ll add tracking daily choices with the truth to it

I can’t say that these changes have all taken though. I find Twitter creeping back in my life with increasing frequency and it is the autonomous attention loop of doom that Marcus Aurelius never had to consider

But what I want is to not fight so hard against boredom

Maybe it would inspire me towards powerful acts of whimsy like this

http://www.latimes.com/home/la-hm-magical-fairy-tree-20171007-story.html

Or at least give me more time for reading exceptional writing

or binging Deep Space Nine

or, maybe, Batman: The Animated Series

or just spending more time in This Feeling