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Well, I’m as stuffed as a moth in a sweater factory!

Thank you all again for inviting me to this lovely supper. It’s not often I can put down my congressional duties and enjoy such fine hospitality; might I return the favor by slicing up this pecan pie I brought along for dessert? Nothing like a good slice of pie at the end of the day.

Let’s see, I might as well set this first piece next to myself, seeing as I’m right here and this way, I can test to see if it’s poisoned or spoiled or whatnot.

Why no, it does not seem to be, and heavens, isn’t that delicious. …


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Hey, roomie!

Thanks for the heart-to-heart last night. You were right to share your concern that so much isolation is, as you put it, “Seriously fucking up your connection to reality.”

I thought about that a lot while hand-scrubbing the mail with paint thinner.

It’s been a trying time for everyone, no doubt, nowhere more so than this one-and-a-half bedroom garden apartment with eight minutes of natural light per day. …


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Administration press briefings, absent for nearly a year, are again part of our daily lives. Many of us cannot watch these without rending expensive throw pillows in half, punching drywall, or shouting at the television in tones that frighten pets and neighbors. To make your next viewing more bearable, try drifting briefly into one of these imagined scenarios.

The president is explaining how “Social Distancing When You Feel Like It” is a viable option when music starts to play on the briefing room PA system. …

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