Mitch DuperreeMan’s Only Dream Left Is Being Buried in Giant CalzoneCarlisle, NJ — Years upon years of dissapointment and now this?1 min read·Jan 22, 2018----
Mitch DuperreeJust One More $40 In-App Purchase and I’ll Stop Feeling Dead InsideSure, I could be saving up for a car or real estate or something; but that’s the cost of being on top. You don’t reach my position on the…1 min read·Feb 16, 2017----
Mitch DuperreeFreeform Heats Up Valentine’s Day with Harry Potter’s Goblet of Desire MarathonThe dignified romance of Gone with the Wind meets the red-hot passion of the car scene in Titanic.2 min read·Feb 14, 2017----
Mitch DuperreePhilosophy Adjunct Begins Every Class with Rage Against the Machine SongSome men just wanna watch the world learn.2 min read·Feb 9, 2017----
Mitch Duperree“The Punisher Is Totally Realistic and Could Actually Happen” According to Cousin JeffKENT, OH — Attempts at a relaxing family BBQ were foiled by 26-year-old Jeff Holt and his enthusiasm for a certain 1970s anti-hero.2 min read·Feb 7, 2017--1--1
Mitch DuperreeKellyanne Conway Discovered to Really Be Waternoose From Monsters, Inc.QUEENS, NY — In the whole vast configuration of things Kellyanne Conway is nothing more than a scurvy little spider.2 min read·Feb 2, 2017----
Mitch DuperreeArquilian Living Inside Mel Gibson’s Beard Is Getting Too Old for ThisHow does one tame the wild beast? He’s our patriot. He’s what women want. He’s a world-class crazy person.3 min read·Jan 31, 2017----
Mitch Duperree“How Many of These Resident Evil Movies Are There” Beats Out Porn for Google Searches, ProbablyNumbers don’t lie. Except the ones telling Hollywood to keep making these movies (and maybe these ones).1 min read·Jan 26, 2017----
Mitch DuperreeLocal Man Dazzles Date with Quotes from Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged MeLATROBE, PA — What began as a promising first date over coffee soon boogalooed into a booze-fueled sex romp, thanks to 29-year-old Kevin…2 min read·Jan 24, 2017----
Mitch DuperreeInauguration Day: Pence Rips Off Shirt and Yells ‘JOE BIDEN AIN’T GOT SH*T ON ME’Washington — Just as Justice Clarence Thomas was to begin swearing in Mike Pence, a steely-eyed Chuck Schumer pulled out a Beretta M9 and…2 min read·Jan 20, 2017----
