Untitled

So it’s 11pm right now as I’m typing this and not too sure what I’m going to write so I’m just going to type whatever is on my mind. Not going to edit. Not going to worry about grammar and probably going to be a bit chatty but whatever see what happens.

I’ll talk a bit about me, actually. So I don’t know my dad and I know that’s nothing special there’s a lot of you that don’t but where I’m different is that I pity all of you with nuclear families. Anyone in college or university right now to keep their parents happy. Anyone trying to make their parents proud I seriously 100% feel bad for you.

I’ve got no dad and my mam is alcohol dependant. I never got the love most of you got. Half the time I didn’t even get the care your parents give you. I spent the last however long caring for my mam. She’s still not proud of me and I’m happy about that because unlike so many of you I don’t need to make mam and dad proud of me. I just need to make me proud of me. I get to do my own thing. I get to say screw college and uni if I want to. I get to say I’m going to be a millionaire and have you all hold me accountable because I know I’m not going to play it safe and get the job mam and dad want me to have.

Don’t get me wrong I’m living with my godparents now and they’re amazing. I couldn’t put into words the love and respect I have for them but I still have my mam and because I know she really doesn’t care I get to go all in on what I want to do,when I want to do it and know I’m not disappointing anyone.

So don’t let your parents dictate your life because it’s so much more fun when you have control. If you’re doing stuff to impress your parents and not doing the stuff you want to do most then you’ve already lost. When you’re trying to make your parents your biggest fans you’ve lost you need to be your own biggest fan.

Don’t get me wrong a lot of you probably can’t help yourself. Some of you need that approval and I sincerely feel bad for you. Maybe I’ve had so much crap in my life I know how to flip it on its head. I don’t know but not having parents there for me gives me the advantage. You don’t miss what you’ve never had so I just don’t need that approval.

Maybe I’ve got a bad hand and I’m bluffing my way out of it. Maybe I’m seeing a positive where there isn’t one. Or maybe I’m right. I mean I’m happy right now. Are you? Or are you just trying to make mam and dad proud? Short term I had it really shitty. Looking after your alcoholic mam and 3 siblings isn’t easy. But long term I’ve won because I don’t need approval to go with my gut or what makes me happy.

Not really sure how to even end this I mean I figured I’d talk about people doing last minute homework or something. So it’s a bit of a mess but I think there’s a message in there somewhere but just to clarify live for yourself not your parents.


If you like my ranting please follow my blog for more.