Ranking Ellie’s Jokes from The Last of Us
In a world as bleak and violent as the one featured in Naughty Dog’s 2013 masterpiece, The Last of Us, any moments of joy that players get to experience are a great change of pace. It’s good to know that even when most of the world’s population has been infected and society has almost entirely collapsed, that a lame joke can still make even the most weary survivors crack a smile.
Undoubtably, one of the best things about experiencing this game is seeing how the relationship between protagonists Joel and Ellie develops over the course of four distinct seasons. We learn more about them as they learn more about each other. And a really unique way this can be seen is in the series of jokes that Ellie tells during the Summer season of the game. Which lighten the mood after several intense encounters with hunters and infected during the Pittsburgh section. These are great little distractions from the severity of the situations that these characters are in and it’s often as much of a break for the player as it is for Joel and Ellie. We get to see them having fun with each other for some of the first times and in a silly way, lays the groundwork for a big part of their very jovial and loving relationship that develops over the course of the game and the journey they go on together.
During my annual play through of the game I always make sure to hear each joke Ellie has to offer because I think they’re just such a great addition to the game and make both of the protagonists feel like living and breathing people.
Since the game initially released seven years ago, people all over the internet have praised The Last of Us for the story it tells, the gameplay it creates and the characters it develops. These different pieces of analysis help me to appreciate all of the things that makes my favourite game of all time what it is. But what I’m trying to do here is take it a step deeper and showcase such a seemingly small detail that enhances one of the games core values, humanity. It might sound silly initially, but hearing two video game characters just having a natural conversation or telling jokes to each other makes them feel like real people and sets the game apart from the majority of others.
So with that, I’ve decided in preparation of the much anticipated follow-up to the game, The Last of Us: Part II, to rank all of Ellie’s jokes from worst to best based on both the in-game reaction by characters and my personal enjoyment of them. In order for one to be considered really great, the joke needs to entertain me as a player but also get a strong reaction from Joel or Ellie.
Disclaimer: This list won’t include any of the jokes that Riley or Ellie tell in the Left Behind DLC.
Honourable mention: Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!
This joke, delivered by Sam in the suburbs section of the season doesn’t qualify for the official ranking but I still needed to mention it. I think it can hold its ground with some of the mid-tier jokes Ellie tells during the game but is definitely beat out by some of the heavier hitters. It’s more of a clever phrase than fun word play which does hinder it a little bit, but not enough to completely ignore it. Good job Sam, now let’s get onto the countdown!
This list is entirely subjective, if you would have ranked them differently, let me know!
#19: What does the pirate say when eating sushi? Ahoy! Pass me some soy!
Coming in at the very bottom of our list, this one just doesn’t offer enough in the form of cute word play or a clever punch line to warrant a position anywhere above dead last. While the joke makes sense and Ellie’s delivery is top notch, the foundation isn’t there and leaves me wanting much more besides a rhyme and some enthusiasm. It won’t be the last pirate related joke on our list but it definitely will be the lowest rated.
#18: People are making apocalypse jokes like there’s no tomorrow.
Ellie says it best, “too soon”. I will give credit where credit is due, under normal circumstances where society hadn’t collapsed and the majority of the world population hadn’t been wiped out, this one would have landed and I’m sure even Joel would have at least chuckled. However, we can all agree that it doesn’t quite hit the mark and just makes everyone involved more upset about the situation they’re in. Still better than the pirate sushi one though.
#17: What did the confederate soldiers use to eat off of? Civil-ware. What did they use to drink with? Cups. Dixie cups.
What makes this one miss the mark, is mainly when it’s told. As the second joke Ellie ever tells Joel and audience it fails to live up to the standard that her first hilarious one (which we’ll see much higher on the list) sets. It might be a lengthy line but it lacks much substance and relatability for Ellie. She delivers it with her classic charm and enthusiasm but do you think she really cares that much about the American civil war given that the world has been over taken by infected? I don’t. Maybe if it was told in a different context it might have been placed higher on the list but I really need to take the in-game enjoyment into account when ranking these.
#16: What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breath you idiot!
We have plenty of food related jokes to go through and if I’m being honest, this is the one that resonates with me the least. I’m not saying it’s a bad joke but I think when compared to some of the other culinary heavy hitters on this list, it can’t keep up. It comes right before the pivotal and consequential sniper sequence in the suburbs of Pittsburgh, so a better joke may have lifted the team spirits and maybe things could have turned out a lot better.
#15: I walked into my sisters room and tripped on a bra, it was a booby trap.
Of all the word play on this list, this one feels almost too direct and the punchline doesn’t get the payoff from Joel or the audience that some of the others higher up do. But maybe that’s the appeal of it, the fact that it is so lame that it’s actually amazing. However that feeling is something we’ll be seeing a lot more of as we progress and this joke doesn’t do it as well as some of the knee-slappers near the top of this list.
#14: 3.14% of sailors are Pi-rates.
The better of two pirate related jokes that Ellie tells, but this one is still just fine. We all understand the construction of it and maybe it calls back to a simpler time for Joel where all he had to worry about was geometry instead of being torn apart by crazed infected. But it just doesn’t do much for me and it’s so short that it’s gone before you can even notice. In the moment, it may make for a good bit of word-play, but that moment is very brief.
#13: Do you want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it was too cheesy.
This is such a classic that you almost know the punchline before the setup is complete. But both Ellie and Sam don’t understand it because pizza wasn’t ever a part of their lives, while Joel and Henry probably just got even more hungry from hearing it. Maybe told in front of a different audience or with more context it would have gotten a bigger laugh but unfortunately that wasn’t the case.
#12: I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
Here’s where we start to really get into the good stuff. This one is concise, simple and really quickly gives you that warm feeling of figuring out a punchline. What drags it down to #12 is definitely the context it’s being told in. Imagine not having showered for probably weeks, by the look of Joel’s clothing, being covered in blood after fighting dozens of violent hunters and then being told a joke about being clean? I don’t think I’d be laughing! It’s a great one otherwise and from this point on, we’ll be seeing some real winners.
#11: What is the leading cause of divorce in long term marriages? A stalemate.
This one assumes both an understanding of failing marriages and chess, but somehow remains so simple and punchy that it’s got to be ranked this high. It’s a subject that is usually really negative but this joke turns that around and gives us all a good payoff. The only consideration I’d make and the reason why it doesn’t crack the top 10 is, what impact does this have on Joel? We know from the University of Eastern Colorado section that Joel was married for a while before the events of the game but it’s implied that things didn’t work out. This joke could have definitely brought up some bad memories for him which would ruin his enjoyment of it. It’s unfortunate for a joke like this to be held back but we have to remember to consider both the audience and in-game reaction to it.
#10: Do you know what’s not right? left.
Even Joel, a disgruntled and hardened survivor who has been living in this post-apocalyptic world for 20 years, still can’t help but finish this joke and give into its charm and lameness. It speaks for itself and Ellie’s genuine reaction to it shows just how good it is. It had to be in the top 10 but the thing that makes the joke so good, it’s simplicity, also makes it difficult to justify putting higher up than other jokes that make us work a bit harder for a bigger payoff.
#9: A moon rock tastes better than an earthly rock because it’s meat-eor.
This joke is one of those where you might need to hear it a few times to really get it, but once you do, it gives you that warm feeling from #12 with even more of an impact since you had to work for it. Again, mention of food could affect the in-game feelings towards the delivery but that gets cancelled out by some additional context from later in the game. Ellie mentions during the University of Eastern Colorado section, that she would have wanted to be an astronaut if she had the chance. So anything to do with space probably is really cool to her and that paired with her love of lame jokes and puns, makes up for any additional hunger this may have caused.
#8: What did the mermaid wear to her math class? An algae-bra.
This is our second bra related joke on the list and I think it’s far stronger than the first. The word play hits on both the sea theme of the mermaid while also making sense in the context of math, a double threat! The pun lands really well and like #9, makes you think for a second before you realize what the punchline is. If it weren’t for the mention of food making Joel and Ellie more hungry, maybe this and #9 could have been swapped but as it stands, math is a lot more fun than being starving.
#7: I tried to catch some fog earlier, I mist.
Wow, the first joke on the list that made me crack a genuine smile during my first play-through of the game when I was 12. It’s so simple and hard to elaborate on what sets it apart but I think that’s the beauty of it.
#6: A backwards poet writes inverse.
Probably the most concise joke on here but maybe my favourite bit of simple word play, it really tickles the old funny bone. What sets it apart and earns it this top 10 spot is the context of where it’s being told. Right after a big encounter with the Pittsburgh hunters which concluded in an abandoned book store / military checkpoint. The place is literally covered in books and literature, Ellie even tells Joel and the audience that she loves to read right before she cracks this one. All of that background information makes the joke funnier and justifies Ellie telling it in the first place. It’s also just really clever.
#5: Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
Closing out our food related jokes on the list, this one doesn’t even need to worry about the hunger inducing aspect because the punchline is so cute that Ellie doesn’t care. Joel might seem a bit annoyed but deep down we know he cracked a smile because the wordplay is so seamless. Also bread seems like one of those food items that would be easy to keep stocked during the apocalypse since people had been making it for centuries without modern technology, so it wouldn’t sting as much as the “meat-eor” comment from earlier.
#4: I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went, then it dawned on me.
What a universal joke for everyone to enjoy. Even after the world has been over run with infected and violence, the sun will still rise in the morning and this joke reminds us all of that. Sure it may seem kind of insignificant in the moment but maybe this nice and pure play on words boosted team morale to get them through the next wave of enemies. It may be the simplest in the top 5 but it sure makes me feel the warmest.
#3: It doesn’t matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationary.
The joke that started it all! As the first joke Ellie tells to Joel, this one sets the expectation for the entire rest of the season and she chose wisely. The wordplay is clever and is one of those jokes where the logic of it is what makes it a winner. The postal system and most uses for envelopes might be entirely gone in this world but that’s no reason for them to stop being used to tell hilarious jokes. The player and Joel might start the joke a little confused about what’s going on but by the end everyone’s having a great time and they’re just excited to hear the next one Ellie has cooking.
#2: A book just fell on my head, I only have my-shelf to blame.
These final two jokes are both absolute knee-slappers but for completely different reasons. With this one, it’s a classic and simple bit of word play but it’s done to perfection. The use of “my-shelf” in place of myself rolls off the tongue and even the person telling the joke gets to have a bit of fun saying the line since it’s such a smooth change. It’s simplistic yet effective at what it’s trying to do, make an incredibly stressful and hostile environment a little bit better.
#1: Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? Because he was outstanding in his field.
Well here we are, the absolute best joke that Ellie tells. It’s funny, it’s cute, it’s smart, it’s so out of left-field that you can’t help but laugh. This joke is the only one out of those told during the main game that features two pieces of world play and that is what really sets it apart from the competition and earns it the top spot. He’s a scarecrow, outstanding in his field and he got a big promotion! It’s so dumb, lame and awesome that you can’t help but crack a big goofy smile and forget about the world around you, which is something that Joel and Ellie desperately need more of. Like Ellie says before telling her first joke, “we need to lighten the mood”, and this is the purest example of that. The entire phrase just makes everyone involved feel better and sets the example for what a post-apocalyptic joke should be!
The Last of Us is undoubtably my favourite game of all time and any chance I get to celebrate it, I’m going to take. This was a fun personal project for me leading up to the release of Part II and I hope that my ranking of Ellie’s jokes reminded you of all the tiny details in this game that make it so incredible.
Endure and survive.
