Eddie Murphy Found Alive

Eddie Murphy was found alive and well at his house today. No one thought that he was dead at all but we’re very much happy to find him alive.

The public had become very concerned after the ‘Vampire In Brooklyn’ star recently gained an enormous amount of weight, some speculating that he was so fat that he must only have had hours left to live.

One fan said ‘I’m happy he’s ok. We can’t wait for another Shrek, when I found out the donkey, my favourite character, was a real person I became an instant fan of Ed’.

Eddie refused to comment on the situation with most reporters receiving zero acknowledgement of their questions.

A spokesman unrelated to Eddie said ‘If no one else has anything else to say about the situation I must speak up, I am a spokesman for a living so I see no one else fit to comment on this situation other than the donkey portrayer himself’.

Shrek was not available for comment he lives like a hermit outside of the public eye. He only ever showing his face while portraying himself in ‘Shrek On Ice’. The private actor, dancer and philanthropist Shrek has not once given an interview.

In an interview with the BBC Eddie was asked if he would ever like to do an ‘Eddie On Ice’ but the actor said that he doesn’t take drugs.