To be an artist these days is an act of heroism.
I am 32 and I do not have my shit together.
Jessica Semaan

Thank you I love you I m with you. Im 32 in Sydney and do not have my shit together. Those people with babies that doesnt mean it’s together. Sometimes its an accident sometimes even if its planned its late nights and no freedom. Sometimes those babies are the thing that saves people. Sometimes they are the only thing those people will ever do right. Its all in how you look at it.

I want some babies and a husband one day.

But before then I want stuff in place too. Because it does not seem responsible to just shove a little one into the current situation

I hope to get more accepting of myself when I have messy days. When I get overwhelmed. When id just want to just lie down from the fight for a while.

I dont think either or is better. Our struggles seem different and our grass may seem greener to someone other than us. Just like they look greener to us.

I think cut yourself slack. You could easily have a baby but you seem you want stability before then which i believe is sensible youll just need to figure a way to feed it or depend on family or friends to pitch in. If your dream means something you’ll work the crap day job to satisfy the weekends writing.

Its not locked in even if it feels that way. In time you may see an entry ramp to where you want to go. In the meanwhile these hard yards your doing will be great for your character and the future characters you write about. I do empathise Im not all Polly Anna yay its ok survival is rough.

I just think what choices can you and I make to get more of a sense of having shit together. ? Maybe acknowledging what we have together even if its small

What kind of things can we be proud of within our control?

Personally I have some good friends yes they married one expecting. But im proud I can let them in and I also can be there for them.

2 I started this app I am proud I can put my words out now I was too scared before.

3 that I make better food choices and dont stress eat as much now.

4 that I dont lay down for days now. Its more like a few hours when I feel too much stress meditation has helped.

5 I have hope and certainty that this overwhelm will not last forever.