What is Your Why?

MJ Blehart
Jun 5 · 5 min read

Why do you desire the things you desire?

When you were a child, you believed you could do anything. Hell, you may even have believed that you could fly. You were open and eager and ready to explore and experience all the amazingness that life could offer you.

Then, when you started school, depending on your experience, you either found even more paths to explore, and/or you began to encounter a harsh, less-than-amazing so-called “reality” to take part in.

This is in no way an attack on schools or educators — they are all heroes and super-important — but between test demands and performance expectations, a great deal of the joy of education and learning gets bulldozed.

You learn that society has certain expectations of you, and they might run counter to what you truly desire to do. In some cases, you might have still worked with this, and managed to achieve what you desired.

In many instances, this has not been the case. The “reality” of making a decent salary and pay for rent or mortgage and all the other related “adulting” shunts a lot of people into ho-hum, unexciting, unfulfilling jobs.

If your why involves what you are doing with your life, then keep at it and rock on! If, however, your why has nothing to do with where your life currently is, do you know what your why is, and the reason you desire it?

Getting to know your why

For a lot of people, they actually haven’t the foggiest idea of what they desire for their life. They may have an idea here, a thought there, an abstract notion along the way…but are unaware of what shape it can and might take and how to implement it.

Let’s be honest, some people spend their whole lives in quest of a why, and that can take all kinds of forms.

For most people, your why is that thing you most desire to do with your life. It might be an overarching goal, like owning a spectacular home, writing a novel, traveling the world, raising kids, and so on. It might be a more day-to-day goal, like taking a walk, reading blogs and books, getting into shape, and so on. Most likely, it’s a combination of these.

The question, when you know your why, that might come up is this: Are you worthy? Do you deserve this?

The answer is YES.

You came onto this planet to live, and grow, and thrive, not just to survive and live a rote routine, dying slowly every day. We get one shot at this particular existence as this unique Meat Popsicle, and then the energy that is the core of who we are gets transmuted and goes elsewhere. As such, you are worthy and deserving of whatever awesomeness makes up your why.

So whatever the thing you desire to do is, you deserve it. You are worthy of it. Unless your why involves disempowering, hurting, or otherwise messing with other people’s lives and THEIR why, yours is legit, and you are worthy and deserving of it.

Photo by bruce mars on Unsplash

What’s it all about?

Great or small, whatever why drives you, in all likelihood, has the same end goal in mind. No matter who you are, or what your why is, odds are the reason behind it is going to be similar, even if the shape is not.

The reason: Satisfaction. Contentment. Happiness. Joy. Feeling good.

This is the reason why we do most everything we do. In the end, the things we do or desire to do have the goal of achievement, and that involves feeling good. It may take various forms, and how it will feel is specific to each individual, but it’s usually the driving force of our lives.

There is nobody that wants to feel unsatisfied, discontent, unhappy, joyless, and bad. Even the most morose person you know is probably seeking something that makes them feel good. Yet we put off, delay, or frequently deny ourselves the things that make us feel good.

Sometimes this comes from giving to others first; other times it comes from fear of lack and scarcity; still other times it’s just a matter of excuses, procrastination, or a combination of issues that cause you to not pursue your why.

This can become insidious. Before you know it, you are unhappy, depressed, and in a constant state of struggle — or else you simply come to see your why as unattainable, and a lack of your own worth being the reason for not having it.

Yes, it’s important to be responsible — but sacrifice will always lead to resentment. Your why should not be sacrificed because of a fear, or a lack and scarcity mentality, because you are no less deserving than anyone else to achieve whatever you desire. In especial when the ultimate goal is feeling good.

How do you know and achieve your why?

Mindfulness. Becoming aware and cognizant of your thoughts and feelings will get you where and why you desire to go. Too many people allow themselves to be disempowered, and pushed around into societal expectations and following the reality of the collective consciousness because that’s what gets drilled into them. Life lives you, rather than you living life, and your subconscious drives the train.

When you practice mindfulness, however, you start being more conscious of your thoughts and feelings, which makes you the conductor of the train. Awareness of what you are thinking and what and how you are feeling gives you influence and even control over thoughts and feelings. That influence and control then drives the intent behind your actions — and you can work on the why of the things you desire.

No, it is not that easy, and it takes time, practice, and work. You can’t simply make your why appear from the vacuum, it takes effort. But to find more satisfaction, contentment, happiness, joy, and good feeling pursuing your desires is worthwhile.

Consciousness creates reality.

Do you know what your why is?

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Originally published at http://titaniumdon.com on June 5, 2019.

MJ Blehart

Written by

Writer | editor | podcaster | philosopher | medieval fencer. Mindful conscious reality creator sharing life experiences and ideas. http://www.mjblehart.com