New Age Mess — You’re Missing It

Look, I’m going to put my hand up and say you can spare me all the lecturing and bullshit.
You can spare me the bullshit because,
In my 30 young years
I’ve seen, heard, experienced, studied, loved, transcended, helped, healed, taught, trained and soared.
You can spare me the bullshit because,
I’ve observed, compared, elicited, measured, evaluated and sifted through it all.
You can spare me the bullshit because,
I know who I am, I know what I’m about.
In my 30 young years I’ve
Played, written, danced, performed, and made love to people and to my instrument.
I’ve shaken entire rooms and every heart inside
With thunderous vibrations that
Hit your face and blow your mind.
Spare me the bullshit.
In my short time,
I’ve dug deep, searched, and peeled back the layers
I’ve written, explored, and healed and discovered.
I know who I am and I see you.
I see you, I see you, I see you. Do you?
Oh but I’m sorry, go on.
Tell me about my chakras. Tell me about the huge auras of the spiritual people in India.
Tell me about how you don’t see auras in “normal” people (Oh my bad, I guess that’s me) but admit “some people do.”
Tell me about my self-esteem, my family dynamics, and most of all Divine Love.
I’m sorry go on, keep describing Divine Love the best that you can.
I can tell you must know it so well, the way you find even more different words
To describe something that is beyond words.
The more you talk, the more you lose it. Yes, I know about the Sound Current too.
But please just stop, just stop — now you’re diminishing It.
I came here for your tuning forks and their sounds. They are expensive after all and need to be hit and applied to the acupoints.
I appreciate your knowledge and for sharing the information I sought,
I really do — even though it was not much — you didn’t even study it -
“I sent my daughter,” you said.
But stating I need to change my whole life, to take the “high road” or else 
After I was vulnerable and told you my trifecta of vices — 
You know, the standards — coffee, alcohol, cigarettes -
I should leave my family, leave my partner and my friends
To find “healthy” people, you strongly implied without stating it.
What can I even say to that, you don’t know me at all.
We just met 20 minutes ago after all.
“How long have you been with your boyfriend?”
Oh wow, you finally asked me a question. But just to tell me 
Why I should leave him to save my liver, adrenals and lungs.
And what do you know about partnership? What do you know about love?
What do you know about friendship? Because I’ve got a ton
Of loving, amazing, inspiring, BRILLIANT friends of all ages and backgrounds,
And not to mention the best man around.
Oh here we go, more information about communication and trust.
I’m sorry go on, I’ve never heard this before (right).
But you wouldn’t care to know that
In my 30 young years I’ve learned, taught, and counseled others myself,
Others desperately needing help, to avoid death, jail and institutions,
And to find solace from their minds that tortured them.
And I did this with humility — without ego or self.
I’m not bragging. I’m not the best. There are countless others with more knowledge and finesse.
Where is your partner? How long have you been with him? Please, tell me about love.
And your perfect daughter and her perfect love.
“If you want a healthy friend, call my daughter”
No thanks, I’m good.
I let you talk your mouth off the whole time,
About you being the real deal, a scientist, a medical intuitive, a practitioner, a teacher, a seer of sound and shapes
And all the rest. “I’m telling you this because I’m a teacher and you’re thinking about studying this. And I’m a mother.”
But now you’ve caused me to laugh. You must be so intuitive you sensed I had no friends.
That I was so perfectly boring and drab that I needed a vegan friend
Who plays her violin so perfectly with her perfect lovely face
Lovely, lovely, lovely.
No thanks.
You poor thing, you tried so hard and now imagining your round face I feel sort of bad.
How much have you lived? How much have you loved?
I’m sure you’ve taught much very well and have given yourself in service.
But how much can you teach, how much can you help,
When you spew and spew and spew all that you know
And don’t leave room for space. You don’t leave any room 
To hear my voice, to feel my presence. What kind of healer are you?
To be fair you didn’t self-state your status as healer
In your list of self-declared titles.
But when you do more harm than good and I wrote you a fat check,
What’s wrong with that?
Thanks for the follow-up email, I appreciate it I do, the offer you wrote 
To answer questions if I have a few.
To you I say “thanks”, and if you’d like to know
How to speak to people about life changes,
I have information as well.
Yes in my 30 short years
I’ve been trained, trainer, credentialed and practiced.
I shared my wisdom with humility to others by way of training to colleagues
Some much older, much wiser, more experienced professionals, 
And one in particular who is this and beyond, while the epitome of humble, whom I deeply respect
And who returned my respect so deeply and loved me.
And I loved him. I loved them all. I’m not a counselor at the program anymore but they are my family.
Even this spiritual, wise man twice my age appreciated my training I shared
And was so humble to state how I enriched his life.
And that is the message. That is my message to you.
We all have something to share, to state, to express, to be.
You just can’t know it all, lady.
There is lots to know, and you know a lot
And I love the type of knowledge that attracted me to your spot.
And though what you shared that I didn’t already know, was not a lot,
That’s fine,
But you’re missing it, you’re missing it by far — there’s a fine line.
So yes, I can tell you about how to talk to people from a professional standpoint,
Which is also common fucking sense,
And I can tell you something else,
That Chinese medicine is not about perfection, it’s about balance.
You’re a licensed acupuncturist — How can you forget that?
I can tell you too that when I got home, my mind whirling, processing your shit
That yes I drank copious whiskey I love and smoked cigarettes,
As the full Sadge moon rose higher and higher and the night quieter and quieter.
And my man that you so quickly judged whom you implied I should leave,
I looked at him sleeping so preciously.
And poetry started flowing from inside me.
Don’t think for a second, don’t you dare
Say that whiskey does not stimulate poetry, art, creativity,
That this substance is not medicine,
Cultivated and processed from the earth just like your herbs.
The liver might say slow down, the nervous system gets worked too
But you only live once, or so I believe. But I’m not taking the chance.
As much as we think we know collectively,
About karma, reincarnation, heaven or God
I’m not wasting my precious time in this mortal life
For perfection — for what?
This life is a gift, and it goes by so fast.
We all have a right to do as we like without feeling judged,
So long as we treat each other with love.
“Why do you drink” you ask “what do you think you’re covering up?” 
As you touch my second chakra abdomen as if you could see inside 
(You didn’t do a good job)
I drink because, I say to you, because it’s fucking fun!!
So thank you again for your time, thank you for your knowledge and kindness.
I wish you the best in your life, blah blah blah, “love and light.”
No I will not be seeking your services again to “come off” a few vices I cherish
Or to ask you questions about your “expertise.”
But I do appreciate your time
And Thank You very much for the lesson 
On authenticity, humility and true presence.
And how a lack thereof and insufficient life experience,
Plus talking and projecting know-hows to a person laid before you
Can actually possibly do some damage!!
I’ve been blessed for this to be my first in a long time of such an experience.
I don’t think you meant harm, I believe you mean well — 
But who are you telling to go to college???
Yes I told you I have my B.A. in psych
You didn’t ask from where and that’s fine.
But with my degree and professional experience in what you call the “healing arts”
I could probably school you some.
With life WELL LIVED, with passion and intensity
With commitment and vision and love and more
With true love with all humans that I adore.
Oh what was that other part of your lesson,
About the illusion that we’re all separate — 
Preaching to the choir of a person who’s so passionate 
About people.
But yes, with a life well lived I could even school you some more.
But I shouldn’t judge you, I don’t want to judge — You are who you are and all people are different.
That’s what makes this whole messy life so interesting.
I’m sure you have helped many and have lived a good life.
You were very kind. I think?
But spare me the bullshit -
Because its only truth that I seek.

But on and on and on I could go!
Just like you did for two hours or so!!
Like here, have these CD’s from my daughter,
One, two, and three — all free!
Oh, you asked, you studied sound healing? But who taught it, and does he know
What he’s DOING?
As you proceeded to pull a binder from the shelf -
“I didn’t study it, I sent my daughter — here are her LOVELY notes!”
Sure, let’s walk through the chakras one by one while you touch my body
And tell me lessons of each, projecting your problems onto me,
As though I have not worked with my chakras for over 10 years.
I loved when you applied a tuning fork to the 5th chakra
You had to count “one two three four five”
Because you weren’t sure.
How come I listened? Why didn’t I ask you to “stop”
To just do the explicit treatment for which I had shopped?
Silly me, silly naivety -
I guess in my 30 young years there’s still some to see.
And still I smiled, and still I let you be.
“You can have all your tears, have them all”
When I let loose — 
A lesson for you is that is real vulnerability, bitch,
That had nothing to do with you! 
So spare me the shit,
Because what I seek
Is unadulterated reality.

And my $75, please.