Dear Ladies:I manspreaded yesterday and it was awesome
In case you haven't heard ,manspreading is now banned on public transport in Madrid,or maybe you don’t know what manspreading is.A quick reminder,you remember how you paid for one seat in the bus and ended up sharing it with one half of a man’s leg.Manspreading is one of those uncomfortable daily nuisances that happen on public transport.I simply cannot fathom,(In moments of angst ,Shakespearean English can always be counted on)why men cannot simply sit on the seats they have paid for .In most cases, guys manspread unconsciously .Years of going unchecked has allowed them to develop and bask in this annoying habit.Yesterday ,after a rather hectic exam paper, with a particular headache inducing section ,I headed to the Bursars office only to be told for the zillionth time that redtape had pulled a fast one on me again.Frustrated ,I headed to the station to board a shuttle.I was just in time to catch one leaving for my hostel and I had to walk-run and leap unto the moving car ,with the loud conductor shouting unneeded words of encouragement the whole time.At this point, I don’t have to describe my mood.
I quickly sank into my seat. puffing and huffing ,only to find myself being crushed on both sides by gigantic male legs
*Insert expletive of choice*.I glanced at the gentlemen who were invading my space.They were obviously unaware of how annoyed I was at their manspreading .In my flustered state ,I simply could not remember the right Swahili words to tell them to put their legs together ,they could manspread all they wanted but not in my space .Suddenly ,the bus hit a pothole, jolting all of us upwards in our seats ,in the microsecond the universe gave me ,I quickly recovered my composure and assumed the globally accepted manspreading position (No need for descriptions here,just look around and find the nearest seated man).We continued our ride to the hostel ,but now there was a change ,we were all manspreading and for me it was awesome .I had reclaimed my money’s worth of the fare and I manspreaded all the way to my hostel with all the dignity I could muster.
P.S-Dear Men ,we are not against you spreading your legs ,could you just take some time to make sure your manspreading is not inconveniencing the person right next to you.