Man Visibly Irked By #MeToo Campaign


A random man in the internet proclaimed today that he is quite perturbed at the outpouring of support sexual harassment and assault survivors showed each other through the #MeToo campaign.

“I just don’t get why they can’t keep it to themselves. No one wants to hear about how women are routinely subjected to harassment that treats them as less than human. And oh my God, it’s such an unoriginal gripe. I am so tired of seeing women acting like victims all the time. I want to log onto my accounts and have actual philosophical discussions instead of insipid hashtag activism. I wish these people would give more details rather than just being unoriginal sheep if they have to talk about it.” he wrote on Facebook, glaringly missing the entire point.

Adding imbecile fuel to the 200 comment long dumpster fire of his making, he followed up in a subthread, “I’ve never been harassed but let me tell you what, if I was I would take it as a compliment! #MeToo but I didn’t mind it LOL”

The man, who so far has made it through his life without seemingly learning a shred of human decency, appeared flabbergasted yet elitist when other commenters expressed awe that someone could be so embarrassingly dense.

A long time friend wrote, “dude, this is a bit much. why make this the hill to die on? gdi doesn’t it bother you that so many people have experienced systemic violence?”

To which he replied, “The only thing that bothers me is your imprudent approach to capitalization and use of internet slang to obfuscate your point,” thinking he was the cleverest man to ever write a sentence on the internet.

“I guess I’m just so original and unique in my position that these peons can’t accept a challenge to their limited worldview,” he lamented, with a stunning lack of self awareness usually reserved for a puppy viewing its own reflection.

The area man would likely not recover from his utter lack of even attempting to learn about the statistically high and emotionally devastating degree of sexual harassment his fellow humans experience. He would go on to expound at length in another post why he can’t seem to find a woman aged 18–24 in his middle age despite being so nice and understanding. Complaining about involuntary celibacy was his usual content despite really hitting it big this time complaining about women complaining about being sexually harassed.

As of publishing this observation, he was smugly sipping a beer alone in a bar thinking about how much he “owned” those simpletons and safe in the assumption that he would never be grabbed by the pussy.