How Self-love Changed My Life

Without love my life was meaningless, I was hopping from one relationship to another, continually engaging in toxic relationships and unhealthy friendships! I know the title seems a lot cheesy and sounds cliched but if you want to find out how self-love changed my life, and how it can change yours too, then you came to the right place.

Love is a beautiful emotion in all its types, kinds, or sort; it is a foundation for almost everything that makes us humans; families, relationships, and our surrounding societies.

As I sit in front of my laptop typing this document, I smile because I am happy and have a feeling of contentment. However, it hasn’t always been like this, I was a sad person majority of the time, I constantly craved attention and wanted so much to be accepted that I would do just about anything to be part of the elite groups. Even when they did accept me, I was never happy or felt like I belonged.

I would join different societies at school from your prayer societies to sports societies when I knew perfectly well those were not for me. I could write the entire novel on this, however, let me fast-forward to the time when I learned to love myself.

What really changed for me?

Then there was this boy…… Yes, you guessed right, my story of self-love and self-discovery began with a failed romantic relationship. We had long been apart but every chance I got I’d text him or call him declaring my undying love for him or wanting to see him just one last time. Pathetic! I know!

He was enjoying the attention I guess because he never turned me down when I made those advances and let’s not forget he was in committed relationships. This went on for about 2–3 years until one day after we spent the weekend together (cringing as I type this) when I got home he didn’t bother to check whether I arrived safely. But the cherry on top was him changing his WhatsApp profile picture to that of himself and his then-partner.

I felt my heart break all over again as if we had just broken up when in fact it had been many years before. I also forgot to mention that there was no food or snacks in his house, and I spent the entire time there hungry to the bone. After this ordeal, I deleted his number and vowed to concentrate on myself. At that moment I honestly didn’t know what I was saying and how that would help me.

My journey to self-love

That year I started reading blogs and just about any information I could find on self-love. I started journaling and in my journals, I’d write myself letters as if I was writing to my lover or the person I was in a romantic relationship with. Every day in the morning I’d send myself a good morning text and throughout the day I’d check up on myself and leave sweet messages. I even went as far as emailing myself.

I thought I was crazy because honestly, I had never heard of anyone who would write themselves letters and romantic messages; it felt as though I was seeking attention for a romantic relationship but no matter how I felt I didn’t stop. As if that is not enough, I would dedicate February and March to writing dear-self statuses on WhatsApp. February was to celebrate love because for me it is the month of love while March is my birth month.

From this charade, I became a self-loving person and the most wonderful thing that happened is how the internal critique changed into a loving supportive ally. I am proud to say now I love myself dearly and unconditionally.

The part where my life changed

I was never that person voracious in my goals and dreams hence I’m rebuilding my life now at the age close to 40. My life had no meaning or purpose; I only existed and wasn’t very much alive. Everything that I did was to please people or so that people can see me as someone of a certain standard; from the career choice I made to the people I hung out with.

After learning the importance of self-love, I began to curate my life the way I wanted to and while my family hasn’t been supportive, it hadn’t stopped me. We got to a point where my sister and I went 8 months without talking because I decided to change careers. Furthermore, I have been able to let go of the toxic people in my life because first of all, I recognized my toxicity, healed from it, and moved on. As we speak I am loving the life that I chose for myself, and while I am still not making a lot of money from the new career, I wake every day doing what I love and I remain hopeful that as time goes on, the money will come.

Final word

Self-love really paved the way to a beautiful life; if you get to a point where you are living life on your own terms without stepping on people’s toes of course, then you become a human being who can stand their ground no matter the situation or the circumstances. It is important to learn self-love at a very tender and young age so that people can be strongly rooted in who they are.