When it comes to leadership, Aaron Burr was right — “Talk less, smile more”

Like millions of other Americans, I ❤️ the musical “Hamilton.” I’ve only seen the live show once *audible gasp from the reader* but listen to the album regularly *audible sigh of relief from the reader*. I was listening to the album recently, and a specific line caught my attention.

In the second track on the album, titled “Aaron Burr, sir” the one and only Aaron Burr says to Hamilton:

“…let me offer you some free advice — talk less, smile more…”

Burr goes on to give some pretty horrible advice — “don’t let them know what you’re against, or what you’re for” 🤷‍♂️ — but I think he was spot on with the notion of “talking less.” This especially resonates with me as I look back at my last two years of being a startup CEO.

Talk less, listen more 👂 > 🗣️

Easier said then done, I know.

But truth is, whether you’re a CEO, a team lead, or an individual contributor, the less talking and more listening you do will have a big impact on your productivity and the quality of your decision making.

But why? Because you don’t know what you don’t know, and the only way to figure that stuff out is by asking questions and listening, rather than talking someones ear off.

This all starts with your mindset. For me, I had to approach every meeting, every negotiation, every interaction with a mindset of asking questions and listening first — talking was secondary.

You have to be intentional with this — it’s human nature to want to speak and be heard, so it’s easy to fall back to your natural habits. But this is also the very reason why it’s so critically important to have a “listen first” mentality — because the other person has a desire to be listened too and heard.

The less you talk, the more respect you give

I’m a first time founder and startup CEO, so before starting Tali I always had a regular job where I reported to someone else. I’ve had a number of different bosses over the years, and I’ve seen first hand the impact of talking less, listening more from an employee perspective.

A few years back, I was hired as a financial analyst at a large company. The initial person I was reporting to was a loud, in your face, emperor has no clothes type of guy. Meetings typically lasted 15 minutes or less, with you not being able to get more than one sentence in without being interrupted or told what to do. It didn’t feel great, but I thought to myself “that’s just part of the job.”

He soon left, and a new leader was brought in. I remember going into my first meeting with this new person, expecting more of the same, but then something amazing happened — I started talking, and he just listened. In fact, he didn’t say a word until I was done talking and walking him through my analysis, at which point we sat in silence while he looked at my presentation and considered what I had just told him.

I was nervous, thinking “did I just botch this? Is he totally confused by what I just said?” Turns out neither of those things were true. Instead, he just asked some intelligent questions, agreed with my conclusion, and said thank you.

I left the room feeling great, completely on cloud nine.

Here was this senior executive who just listened to everything I said, took it seriously, and was appreciative of my work.

Not only did I feel respected, I felt confident. My work product improved and my moral improved, all because I was simply listened too.

The Aaron Burr Challenge

Here is my challenge to you — try to get through your next meeting without speaking 🙀

No, I don’t mean being a complete mute — if someone ask you a question, or says hello, you should certainly respond. But instead of talking for the sake of talking, focus on doing nothing but listening and asking questions.

You know you’re actually doing this if someone else in the meeting turns to you and says “hey, you’ve been quiet on this topic, but what do you think?” And trust me, you’ll be surprised by the results, especially when you do this over time.

My own experience as a “listen first” CEO

As a newly minted CEO, I initially thought the more talking I did, the better — after all, I was supposed to have all the answers, right?

Wrong. Turns out the more listening you do, the better CEO you’ll be. Once I focused on talking less, and listening more I noticed two things.

First, team moral greatly improved, and so did our decision making velocity. People felt respected, and we made decisions based on all the information we had available.

Second, I noticed that my team actually sought my opinion MORE often, and seemed to value my thoughts more than they did before. It’s simple supply and demand — the less you talk, the more value people will place on your words when you do speak.

My professional life and my professional relationships have dramatically improved since I’ve taken this “listen first” approach. Beyond that, my personal life has improved as well — I’m a better husband, father and friend.

So go ahead and give it a try — listen to the Hamilton album and take Aaron Burr’s advice to “talk less, smile more.” I guarantee you’ll see an impact, and at a minimum you’ll be forced to listen to one amazing musical 🎧 😃

PS — You should also read “Never Split the Difference” by Chris Voss…a great book about the skill of empathetic listening and why it’s so critical in negotiations (and life).