Michael

…but the truth — said out of love — means that you are stepping fully into your most authentic self. That authentic self is who you need to be if you want your relationship to have a chance and it’s who your partner needs you to be if you’re sure that it doesn’t.

I will be patient, gentle, and consider your wants and …one another, and whether their partner engages in hurting them or not is a thing of their choosing. It’s a way of saying, “I will allow you to potentially hurt me, but I trust that you won’t,” for those who do not enjoy pain, and a way to communicate, “If you allow me to pleasure you in a way that could hurt you, I will not — I will be patient, gentle, and consider your wants and needs.”