The Glass Castle

Mary Lou Lindsay
Aug 22, 2017 · 3 min read
The Glass Castle

My sister and I went to see the movie The Glass Castle. I felt not just sick pain, but a feeling of some hidden horror that had been exposed on a large screen and shown to the world. She and I didn’t speak about the movie right away. I couldn’t. My throat felt constricted as though I had developed an illness. Safest place for me was under my covers hidden. I didn’t want anyone to know what I had seen in that theater.

The author, Jeannette Walls and my life only connect in superficial ways in that our parents weren’t responsible people. They should never have had children. In that the author of this book had parents that exposed her to danger and hardship on a daily basis, I understand how that felt. What I connected with was that despite all the pain that comes from living in an environment like this, there is still the willingness to accept it because the connection with the parents is still the bond of love. You feel shame and keep it hidden away, but it becomes the norm and you feel hopeful that maybe this day will be better than the day before. It isn’t. So the years march on and you become a teenager. You look outside for what is normal and what isn’t. You turn to other people’s parents for cues on what is the household like during meal times. What are your friends’ parents doing when they are home?

The main character in the book thought she found love in surrounding herself with possessions and living in a world of money. She wanted the steadiness and repetition of life events to be enough. No drama. She had enough of it as a child. What I discovered is if you have behavior surrounding you during your formative years that is so out of the ordinary, you become hypervigilant and unknowingly seek it out. As a younger person, I was attracted and repelled by fitting in. I didn’t want any attention brought to me.

When I moved to the DC area, I was working in a small branch of a large insurance company. The young people there were all studying to be attorneys and were working part-time. I loved hanging out with them so I could study how they perceived the world. Through absorbing their viewpoints, I could figure out what I lacked. That was my education through most of my early 20s until I got married.

Marriage brought me the second part of my growth as a person. My world expanded through being in therapy from ages 24–30. I learned about the way neither money nor education helped when you were having problems. I met extraordinary people along the way. I learned that I had no skills in being married and really no interest either. My kids survived despite that lack in me. My daughters are both smart and resourceful which in today’s world is needed.

I suggest seeing this movie or reading the book The Glass Castle. It probably will just be an interesting movie at best for most people to watch with no identifying markers. I would not be surprised if Woody Harrelson wins an Academy Award for his portrayal of the father. For me, it was just a sad reminder that I still have more work inside that needs to be looked at and examined.

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Written by

Journaler, Grandmother, life long lover of movement/exercise, a strong woman who loves to write and is constantly inquisitive about life.

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