It’s time to wake up, America: Candy corn is the best Halloween candy. Ever.

Image by Wokandapix from Pixabay

It’s time to wake the fuck up, America. No more discussion, no more debate. This ends right here, right now: Candy corn is the best Halloween candy. Ever.

Especially that Brach’s shit! The ones made with real honey? I challenge you to name any other seasonal sweet wherein one of the main ingredients is gathered by weaponized insects responsible for the deaths of roughly 62 people per year. Badass!

And yet, year after year, you idiots take to social media to declare war against these sunset-colored sugar thorns — you call them worthless, unnecessary, even gross. …

Take your pumpkin spice and shove it… into your dessert

(Photo: Megan Seling)

In 2012, I published a cookbook called Bake It in a Cupcake: 50 Treats With a Surprise Inside. This has been, hands down, the most popular Bake It in a Cupcake creation to date, and it’s a recipe I want to ensure people have access to for years to come.

To save time, you can make the miniature pies up to 2 days in advance — store them in the refrigerator until you’re ready to make the cupcakes. The pies can also be prepared quickly with a premade pie crust — as I’ve said, there’s no shame in taking shortcuts…

Exhausted? Angry? Lonely? Overwhelmed? Here’s a song — or seven — for you.

Photo by Anthony DELANOIX on Unsplash

1. Worriers, “What We’re Up Against” (2017)

Earlier this year Worriers released You Or Someone You Know, their best record to date (with killer drumming from Mikey Erg of pop-punk legends The Ergs !— perfection). Still, I keep coming back to “What We’re Up Against,” a jam from the band’s 2017 release Survival Pop. It’s a rejuvenating rally cry to get up and fight back.

The Lyric to Tattoo Onto Your Brain: “They’ve got bigger flags, they’ve got bigger bombs, but through all the noise there’s still more of us.”

2. Kimya Dawson, “Loose Lips” (2020)

Back in April, folk…

I’ve never smoked cigarettes, I’ve never smoked pot, I’ve never had a drink. But I definitely have a substance-abuse problem.

Photo by Megan Seling

It was about 20 minutes after midnight, and I had been weaving through the streets of Redmond, Washington, for at least an hour — driving, turning, looking for the freeway. I really should’ve been home by now, but after seeing a few friends’ bands play at the Old Fire House on a Friday night, I got lost. Confusing streets, unfamiliar town. I ended up somewhere that may or may not have been Canada. It’s hard to say. I took a lot of wrong turns.

After stopping off at a Safeway for directions and a Diet Coke, I got back in…

Refresh, refresh, refresh. We’ve all been caught in the algorithm's deep, dark void. Here’s how to break the cycle.

Photo by Prateek Katyal on Unsplash
  1. Set a timer for one hour. Stare at it until it goes off.
  2. Take your dog for a walk. If you do not have a dog, adopt a dog, leash train the dog and then take the dog for a walk.
  3. Make yourself a nice hot cup of tea. No screens during tea time!
  4. Memorize every word and dance move in Cardi B’s “WAP” video and perform it on TikTok while wearing an inflatable T-rex costume.
  5. Memorize every word and dance move in T.Rex’s “Get It On” video and perform it on TikTok while wearing a Cardi B costume.
  6. Congratulations…

A kind of, sort of gentle reminder to prioritize your own mental health in the midst of the pandemic

Seattle, WA (Photo: Megan Seling)

The world needs you right now. Yes, the whole world. Yes, this very instant.

That’s how it feels, anyway.

The news cycle — the endless, doom-filled news cycle — feels less like a source of information and more like a tentacled Hellbeast that is, one greasy appendage at a time, wrapping itself around your weakening body and squeezing tighter and tighter.

Recent headlines include horrifying phrases such as “Forced Hysterectomies” and “Wildfire Sparked By Gender Reveal Party.”

Our social media feeds are a steady stream of worthy GoFundMe campaigns, for friends and strangers alike, all needing money for medical bills…

All about the time I attempted to bake 106 different kinds of Martha Stewart holiday cookies in two months. People laughed and said I was crazy. Well, I was crazy.

I had been staring at a wall of frozen pizzas for 15 minutes. Freschetta, DiGiorno, Red Baron, Tombstone. I didn’t even want pizza. I looked pathetic, in slippers and an oversized Dance Hall Crashers hoodie that I almost never wear in public because, as a rock writer, I don’t like to flaunt my undying love for uncool mid-’90s ska bands. But I didn’t care. It was almost 1:00 a.m., and I had been at the Ballard Safeway for 45 minutes and only had three oranges in my basket to show for it. …

In fact I’m watching one right now, while I write this.

Anything on Lifetime starring a Mowry sister > The Grinch. (Photo by joshua herrera on Unsplash)


Every day since Thanksgiving, often several times a day,I have walked into my living room, turned on the television, and typed those numbers into my remote control to call up the Lifetime Channel. It’s been airing it’s special brand of saccharin, made-for-TV Christmas movies since October and I. Can’t. Stop. Watching.

Oh, you think that’s weird? You think you’re superior for marking your holiday season with an annual viewing of cinematic classics like National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation or It’s a Wonderful Life? …

I am enough.

I am smart enough. I am funny enough. On a good day, I’m a pretty decent writer.

Don’t mistake this for bragging! This is self-preservation. I’m putting this here because I want to forever remember the moment I finally realized all those words are true and, absurdly, it took GQ mistaking an IED for a popular form of birth control to get me here.

I left my job as a full-time writer and editor at a local alt-weekly newspaper about a year ago, and it hasn’t been easy finding steady footing as a freelance writer.

Sure, I’ve…

Chrissy Teigen and Roxane Gay are rarely wrong.

I did it because Chrissy Teigen told me to. Roxane Gay Tweeted about doing it a lot, too.

So, unemployed and unwilling to commit to full-time freelance work because freelancing is messy and unpredictable and imposter syndrome is real, I cozied into my favorite corner of the couch one wintery weekday afternoon and watched my first episode of Bravo’s hit reality show Vanderpump Rules.

For four, five, sometimes six hours a day — with my husband at his office and my dog fast asleep at my side — I’d watch Lisa Vanderpump’s…

Megan Seling

Megan Seling is a writer and author in Nashville, TN. Human Parts, Nashville Scene, The Stranger, Livability, Rookie, Wondering Sound, & more.

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