Why is it so hard to talk about privilege? And why we should do it anyway
Have you ever flown east-west and west-east in the United States? If so you may have noticed a difference in flight times. It takes 40 minutes longer to get from New York to Los Angeles than from Los Angeles to New York, for example. Anyone looking at this from the outside could say that the plane from Los Angeles to New York is more efficient or that its pilot is more skilled. But the difference in performance in this case has to do with structural factors: favorable tailwinds and unfavorable headwinds. I read this analogy in the book “The Person You Mean To Be” and it helped me understand what privilege is and how it influences our results.
I understood that it might be interesting to write about privilege when I listened to an interview with Bettina, the 22-year-old woman who accumulated one million reais (Brazilian currency) investing in stocks and became the spokesperson of an online investment advisory firm saying that anyone could become a millionaire. In the interview, when asked if she believes she is privileged Betina responds: “The word is not privilege, the word is ‘structured family’ ”. Then, one of the interviewers said, in Betina’s defense, that the word privilege historically meant “law for the few” and that in fact privilege would be “having access to entitlements” such as studying at a public university paid by taxpayers. According to this person, Betina looked for opportunities, she had exposed her self to risk, her results could not have been a product of privilege, they were products of her own effort. To better understand where this narrow perception of privilege might have come from, I searched for “privilégio”, the Portuguese word for privilege, in Google and, analyzing the results of the “news” tab, I realized that we, Brazilians, spoke of privilege to refer to perks of high-ranking government officials. There is no doubt that this group is privileged, but to believe that only they are privileged in Brazil is a sign that there is room for us to expand our understanding of privilege.
Deconstructing two ideas can help us understand privilege beyond the pampering of Brasilia’s elite (Brasilia is Brazil’s capital city).
Being privileged doesn’t mean you didn’t work hard. It means that you enjoyed advantages you did not need to work for.
This is a key point: Privilege is not about what you have achieved. It is about what you did not need to achieve. Privilege has to do with your starting point and the “tailwinds” you encountered on your journey. Not with what you have achieved or with your character or dedication. Imagine a very skilled and dedicated runner who has the chance to always start a little ahead of the others in races. As much as this runner is dedicated and skilled, his initial advantage guarantees him results that are, to some extent, incongruous with his effort. After all, if another runner with the same dedication and skill ran the race without the initial advantage, he would have inferior results than those of the one who started in advantage. This is the dynamics of privilege.
Privilege is not an exclusivity of the rich or the white, almost everyone enjoys some privilege.
University of Houston professor and bestselling author Brené Brown published a video after the Charlottesville protests talking about privilege and empathy. In this video she explains that privilege is the subject that makes her students the most uncomfortable. When she says that everyone enjoys some privilege, the typical reaction of students is: “Privilege? Are you kidding me? I started with nothing and I worked hard to get to where I am! I had no privilege! ”
This revolt happens partly because it is not natural for us to realize our own privilege. Some say that talking about one’s privileges is like asking a fish about the water where it swims. The fish would probably answer: “What is water?”.
Just like that, in our path there are a number of “tailwinds” that we are not aware of.
(1) If you have never felt that you needed to hide a symbol of your religion to be respected or to be safe, you have lived with less anxiety than many followers of religions perceived as inferior or dangerous, such as Islam or religions of African origin in certain regions of the world.
(2) If you feel safe holding your partner’s hand in public without fear of suffering aggression, as many homosexual couples do, you have enjoyed a freedom that was not available to everyone.
(3) If when you go out on your own, or with people of the same gender as you, you do not considered the risk of being a victim of sexual violence, you live with less fear than most women.
The anxieties and traumas presented in these examples occupy a space in the minds of those who suffer them, consuming their attention and often limiting their life choices. They are part of the “headwinds” which also include experiences of discrimination, marginalization, and other forces that make it difficult for disadvantaged groups to contribute to society on an equal footing.
Ok, I’m privileged. So what?
Privilege is closely linked to the circumstances of birth and there is not much that can be done about those. So what’s the point of knowing and recognizing that I’m privileged?
“It’s in the nature privilege to blind” as Nigerian writer Chimamanda Adichie said. Simply recognizing your privilege expands your vision, it is a self-revolution. I can say this from my own experience, after studying equity in grad school and finding out a little more about my privileges (I recognize that there is still more to be discovered).
Becoming aware of some of my privileges has changed my view of the world.
Understanding my privileges has helped me understand the structures that keep society as it is. This, in addition to resignifying many of my understandings, showed me opportunities to change these structures.
For as long as I can remember, I understand that people of different skin color have the same ability and the same rights. As a child, I remember reacting strongly when my grandmother made some racist comment: “Grandma, do you really think there is any difference between white and black people? You who reads newspapers daily and is interested in science. What a disappointment!” Because I had this attitude in situations of discrimination, I thought I was not compliant with a system of advantages based on skin color. But that was only until I began to study the subject.
I, as a white woman, benefited from growing up in a racist society. That was the conclusion I came to when I finished reading two chapters of the book “White Fragility,” which was a required reading for a course. It was a punch in the stomach.
But if I already understood that Brazil is a racist country, why was it so hard for me to accept this conclusion?
Because recognizing privileges is difficult. Some studies show that when confronted with data showing their privileges, people tend to change the way they tell their own story, reinforcing that while their group is privileged, their story was full of mishaps and highlighting that they did not enjoy as much privilege as the average of their group.
I think that was my reaction for a while. But studying this topic made me think more deeply about it. As much as I actively stood up against demonstrations of racism throughout my life, my starting line in life was determined when I was born. It is difficult to understand that, in an unequal society, achievements are not equal for everyone. Recognizing that when I competed for a place in university or for a job, I didn’t compete with the best, but with the small portion of the population privileged enough to get there. Also, in a reality in which people of different skin color reach different places, looking at my fair skin others put me in a place of advantage over those who had skin darker than mine. This tailwind blows for me almost everyday almost everywhere in Brazil.
It was overwhelming to recognize that a part of the path I charted was actually not charted by me.
Privilege is power and, like all power, it comes with responsibility — including the one to to change the game.
Ok, so becoming aware of my privilege helps me to be less ‘clueless’. But what difference does it make in the world?
Privilege and power have an intimate relationship. Typically people who accumulate privilege accumulate power as well. Our privileges give us the opportunity to give them up. Just as we expect Brasilia’s upper echelon to relinquish its high pensions, we can actively question the oppression of groups who do not enjoy the same privileges as us and thus pave the way for more people to prosper, creating a society in which more people can realize their full potential.
Research shows that privileged people have the power to effectively influence practices that oppress those who do not enjoy the same privileges as them. For example, a study conducted in the US found that a white person tends to be more persuaded when another white person points out the racist content of a comment than when a black person does the same. Other research has noted that when dominant-identity people advocate for workplace diversity, their careers are not penalized, but when people from underrepresented groups take the same attitude, their careers can be harmed. This evidence shows that it is important for privileged individuals to be allies in combating the dynamics of privilege.
In this process it is important to be aware so as not to inadvertently speak for the group one aims to support. Even though research shows that privileged individuals are effective in questioning and persuading about oppressive dynamics, it is important that privileged people listen to and learn from those who suffer oppression. It is impossible to understand how someone who does not have the same privileges as you feels without empathetic listening to that person. Remember also that speech is a source of power, so vacating speech and participation space is itself a question of privilege. If this space is safe and ensuring that underrepresented groups are not afraid of being penalized professionally or having their speech reduced to “blah blah blah”, it will be even more revolutionary.
In discussing the privileges that surround and bind us as a society, I increasingly seek to accept that I am unfinished work, in progress with every interaction with the different. Accepting that I am still going to make a lot of mistakes when trying to question the privileges around me is difficult, but it is a sign that I have a fantastic journey of transformation and empathy ahead. I invite you to embark on this journey, seeking to understand how your identity gives you privilege and power and how you can use your position to make room for those with different identities to thrive as well.
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Speaking of privilege is very difficult, very uncomfortable. It’s easy to make mistakes talking about privilege when you are a white woman who has had access to college and graduate degrees like me. But, I believe the road to a fairer society passes through this dialogue. So, despite the fear of making mistakes and possibly being unfair, I wanted to write this text in an attempt to start / broaden this dialogue. If you would like to discuss or send me feedback, I will reply to the email: mmartinezrodrigues@gmail.com.
