Sleeping with strangers

Too many cigarettes.

Three in an interval of 10 to 15 minutes.

“Why is this, darling?”

I ask if you’re anxious but you just say you need something self destructive in your system.

I wonder.

I wonder because you smoke so arduously almost as trying to punish yourself for something that already happened – or something that will.

I tell you how I feel about the situation and you probably think I’m just old-fashioned but in fact I’m just worried! and yes I shouldn’t worry about someone I just met but I do!

I do.

Your face tells me there are a couple of things in your life that are out of place. You look lonely. You are not satisfied with the way life is going. And I don’t blame you. I’m not satisfied either.

I am not the convenient type. I never was.

Maybe being dramatic about your cigarettes is my way of feeling and showing affection towards a total stranger.