“When someone seeks,” said Siddhartha, “then it easily happens that his eyes see only the thing that he seeks, and he is able to find nothing, to take in nothing because he always thinks only about the thing he is seeking, because he has one goal, because he is obsessed with his goal. Seeking means: having a goal. But finding means: being free, being open, having no goal.”
When those relationships get challenging and you find yourself frustrated with their patterns of behavior — but you remain friends with them anyway — it’s often the case that you’re observing a mirrored pattern of your own behavior. You just don’t realize it.