Pros and Cons of Acceptance, Gratitude, and Being in the Moment
We’re often urged to practice acceptance, gratitude, and to be in the moment. It’s too easy to accept or to reject those reflexively. To encourage a more reflective decision, here are some pros and cons of each:
Acceptance
Pros: Acceptance reduces excessive stress and striving. Let’s say you’re afraid of dying. Sure, do the obvious, for example, manage your weight, exercise, and don’t abuse substances. But beyond that, you’ll likely be happier and more productive if you let the river run. Worry taints the good times.
Con: Acceptance restricts growth — If you accept what is and will be, you’re less likely to try to improve.
Gratitude
Pros: Feeling grateful reminds you of the positive. That makes you feel better and may make you kinder. In that example of fear of dying, even if your health is bad, you may feel more upbeat by reminding yourself of people who are worse off.
Con: Reduced opportunity for growth. As in practicing acceptance, if you focus on gratitude for the status quo, you’re less likely to try to improve, for example, to reduce your substance abuse.
Being in the moment
Pros: Being in the moment avoids poisoning the present with sadness from the past or worry about the future. Being in the moment also may improve your performance. Sex comes to mind but, in another example, let’s say your boss has been unfair to you (the past) and you’re afraid that you might get terminated (the future.) Suppressing those thoughts will help you stay focused on the task and maybe even enjoy it more.
Cons: Being in the moment can make you less likely to plan and to learn from the past. Taking that work example, if you’re focused only on your present work, you’re not considering lessons learned. Conversely, keeping your head down may keep you from planning for a better tomorrow: Should you be acquiring a new skill, putting out feelers for a better job, and/or building your network?
The takeaway
More than I’ve ever experienced in my lifetime, more people seem to have viscerally rather than reflectively developed strong opinions. That’s true not only regarding acceptance, gratitude, and being in the moment, but regarding politics and especially regarding race, class, and gender. We would all be wise to consider pros and cons.
I read this aloud on YouTube.
You can reach career and personal coach Dr. Marty Nemko at mnemko@comcast.net. His 15 books are available on Amazon.
