Hi, Erika! I really liked your article. I’ve been thinking whether I should really be taking antidepressants (duloxetine) or a mood stabilizer, because of the slight-to-moderate elation I feel when the antidepressant first starts working. Makes me think I might be Type 2 Bipolar rather than just depressed.
And so I have a question. You said, “My appropriate was not appropriate. The thing is, before the medication I would have known it. I would have seen it coming.” The warning signs you mention are few hours of sleep and the email. What is “unlike you” about the email exactly? What made your husband come home and ensure you were okay?
I’m asking because I feel like I went through a period (which may or may not be over) where I now feel my actions and reactions were inappropriate, though I felt they were quite reasonable and appropriate at the time. Like you said, my appropriate was not appropriate. It makes me feel ashamed as well, and I just want to go to people and say, “That wasn’t me! Let me rewrite that whole interaction! This is me now (I think)!”
Is that kind of it? :-o