Run Baby Run! A really funny Run

When you are tired. Run

When you are thinking …and overthinking. Run

When you need to recharge. Run.

Experts tell us that by now(February 11th) most of us have forgotten the 2016 new year resolutions. My running was not a resolution but something that I have been doing on and off.

Today, must have been the fastest run I ever did.

The clouds were threatening to drop lots of rain over Nairobi. I left the house around 6.30pm for a job and ensured my run keeper app was up and tracking my run. Finding my way past the home-going school kids, lactating mothers who were out to pick the evening provisions, watchmen late to go work and working-class, tired-but-not-retired hordes of men in have-seen-better-days suits. Past the gate into the matatu traffic ferrying the many taxpayers going home after a hard days work at the office.

I normally start by walking, then I will run when my body is “hot” enough.

Just when I felt my body is hot enough, I picked my pace and started trotting. All of a sudden, my stomach started rumbling…mimicking the clouds above. I decided to ignore that. Trot. Trot. And I even started humming to myself and smiling sheepishly at passersby, while watching out, not to to be crushed by oncoming traffic.

Five minutes later. Another rumble in the deep. I stopped the trot and began walking to listen in. Another rumble. I smiled. I wanted to do a run around our estate, which is about 6km and I was almost halfway. I looked behind me and remembered a wise exhalation from Jesus himself “… No one, after putting his hand to the plow and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God - Luke 9:62”. So I made a decision. Run , Martin, Run!

I ran. Because I wanted to be fit for the Kingdom!

I am sure the people sitting like ducks in Nairobi traffic were looking at me and admiring the pace of the “young man” and remembering their forgotten resolutions.

The rumble in my stomach continued. I had to be fit for the Kingdom, otherwise I would have to look for a nearest pub, and ask for directions to the toilet.

So I picked up pace and run. A smug, a grin- a mixture of determination and wonder, formed on my lips. And I ran. The rumbling became bigger. I concentrated on the stats that runkeeper would show me,at the end of the run, telling me that I have a new record for the quickest I have ever run! I almost knocked down a chapati vendor who was busy making chapatis on the roadside, while picking money from the bachelors, who would later eat the chapatis with tea and call it dinner.

My heart was burning. More sense of urgency as the heavens were threatening to burst open and the initial drops were really huge drops.

At last I saw the wall around our estate, 500 metres, I will make it, More rumbling from the stomach; more speed Martin.

I parried. I hurried. I almost died, coming through the gate. Same stupid smug of a mouth covering half of my face. I run past the kids riding their shiny bikes and maids quickly picking clothes from the lines, running up the stairs to our first floor apartment, bursting open the door.

My wife gives me one look and says “That was fast!”. And my stomach rumbling stops! On TV, there was an action movie RED which actually captivated me for a few minutes.

Strange? Thinking that I wanted to really go…and let it go. But there was nothing!

At this point I remember my runkeeper record. I quickly remove my phone, so that I can brag about the new record, only for me to discover that during my fastest run, the runkeeper app must have bumbed against my shuffling legs and clicked pause.

I proceed to go to the shower, no need at all for the toilet and even managed to scroll through some interesting quora posts.

Life is really funny.

Had a good time, laughed so hard in the bathroom , the door had to be knocked twice and I had to be reminded that dinner is served!

Man!

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