What in the Blazers: Could Tony Romo be Coming to Birmingham?

Birmingham– The Magic City is ablaze with rumors that Tony Romo will soon be its newest resident. Here is everything we know so far:

With the Dallas Cowboy announcing his retirement from the NFL last week speculation as to the athletes next move has reached a fever pitch. Most experts are in agreement that Romo will likely go into sports broadcasting or be nominated to the United States Supreme Court -should the Gorsuch confirmation be defeated by a promised Democratic filibuster. However a third rumor, much like Dak Prescott everytime he takes to the field, has been gaining a considerable amount of ground.

According to this rumor Romo -presumably not ready to give up on football but still interested in increasing his post football prospects- will move to Birmingham, enroll in UAB, and walk on with The Blazers while pursuing a degree in animal husbandry. Substantial credence was lent to this rumor on Tuesday when Romo was spotted in Avondale wearing an Aviate hat and eating a Steel City Pop.

When word of this incident reached our desks The Birmingham Busker reached out to famed Romo friend, mentalist and central Alabama resident Uri Geller for comment. As Geller explained it to us, “Oh yeah, I can definitely assure you that he is seriously thinking about it. ToRo’s biggest regret is not having finished college. He is the first person in his family to have not done so and it has really stuck in his craw all these years. And learning is his second great love (third if you count his wife Rhea Pearlman) and if he’s got a chance to do that while still doing football then he is going to take it. At this point the only real question is if he’s going to try and make that happen at UAB or go down to William Carey. I tend to think it’s going to be UAB because Favre lives in Hattiesburg and that town isn’t big enough for the both of them. I mean literally. Have you seen those guys? They’re huge.”