Who Are You, Mochi?

(QwwQ) < Alright. Enough is enough, n_ll. Get to the point in this one. No more clever wordplay or cute references to dodgy Eastern metaphysics. I want to know exactly what it is we’re all here for, in plain terms.

(n_ll) < What we’re all here for?

(QwwQ) < Yes.

(n_ll) < Hmm… And why should I tell you that?

(QwwQ) < Because, n_ll. You’ve been dragging us through the mud with these last three blog posts, and for some reason I keep reading these things without having the slightest clue what this is all about.

(n_ll) < This? What do you mean by this?

(QwwQ) < THIS, dude. This whole Mochi thing. What is it? What am I doing here? Why are we even talking? Why is my face beautifully symmetric and yours horribly disfigured? I’m not complaining, but I want answers, n_ll.

(n_ll) < But how should I know what everyone is doing here?

(QwwQ) < What? Oh no, not this again…

(n_ll) < Why should I have any business in telling you what you’re here for?

(QwwQ) < BECAUSE all you keep talking about is DAOs, and batteries, and changing the way we work without saying how you’re going to do it, or what I even have to do with this whole thing. Like, what is my role in all of this? Why am I here, n_ll? Tell me!

(n_ll) < Why don’t you tell me, QwwQ?

(QwwQ) < TELL YOU WHAT? HOW CAN I TELL YOU SOMETHING I DON’T KNOW?

(n_ll) < You mean you don’t know what you’re here for?

(QwwQ) < NO. I DON’T.

(n_ll) < It’s okay if you don’t — no need to get upset. Many of us don’t know. Most of us refuse to even think about these sorts of things.

(QwwQ) < sigh… Forget it. I’m just going to shut up now.

(n_ll) < Good. Now you’re ready to listen.

(QwwQ) < …son of a sorbet….

(n_ll) < Hey, do you set goals?

(QwwQ) < Set what?

(n_ll) < Goals, mother fuqqer. Do you set them?

(QwwQ) < Goals? You mean like things I want to accomplish in any given day?

(n_ll) < No. Those would be tasks. I’m talking about goals. Long-term, big picture type goals.

(QwwQ) < Uhh…No.

(n_ll) < Why not?

(QwwQ) < Because.

(n_ll) < Because…?

(QwwQ) < Because I found that if you have a goal, that you might not reach it. But if you don’t have one, then you are never disappointed.

(n_ll) < Are you seriously quoting Dodgeball right now? C’mon, be serious!

(QwwQ) < What more do you want me to say? No, I don’t set goals. There.

(n_ll) < So if you don’t set goals, how do you ever expect to find out what you’re here for then?

(QwwQ) < Alright, fine. I get it. Now knock it off! You KNOW that’s not what I was asking.

(n_ll) < What were you asking again?

(QwwQ) < What any of this bargain bin Wachowskian nonsense has to do with Mochi, and why I should keep paying attention to your senseless pseudo-philosophical meanderings.

(n_ll) < Because, QwwQ.

(QwwQ) < Because what?

(n_ll) < Because setting goals is one small part of what this Mochi thing is all about.

(QwwQ) < Seriously?

(n_ll) < Yes, seriously.

(QwwQ) < LOL.

(n_ll) < What’s so funny?

(QwwQ) < Well I just…I mean…I guess I thought there was more to this thing than setting goals.

(n_ll) < What’s wrong with setting goals?

(QwwQ) < I mean, there’s nothing wrong with setting goals, per se. It’s just that…umm…it’s a bit simplistic. And this is crypto, you know?

(n_ll) < Yes, I know. And?

(QwwQ) < And like, these DAOs are like, really, really complex. Building new kinds of organizations is no small task. Designing global, complex adaptive systems like these require some serious coin and mental firepower that I don’t think…

(n_ll) < That you don’t think what?

(QwwQ) < That…um.

(n_ll) < Just spit it out.

(QwwQ) < That frankly I don’t think setting goals has anything to do with it — DAOs, crypto, or blockchain for that matter.

(n_ll) < Oh, I see.

(QwwQ) < Yeah…sorry. I don’t mean to rain on your parade or nothin’, but maybe you should consider another line of work. Maybe try to get into a top-notch DeFi project and put those accounting skills of yours to good use.

(n_ll) < But I‘m already putting them to good use.

(QwwQ) < By accounting for goals on the blockchain?

(n_ll) < Yes. Why is that so hard to understand?

(QwwQ) < Well, because I don’t fully get what bean counting and the blockchain have to do with each other.

(n_ll) < Seriously?

(QwwQ) < I think we’re past the point of BS’ing each other, n_ll. I’ve already read three blog posts only to find out that this Mochi thing is even more ancient and outdated than Taoism. Accounting, hah! “Hey guys, let’s use the blockchain as an abacus!” That’s a good one, n_ll. And I thought I was the funny one!

(n_ll) < I’m not trying to be funny. Isn’t the blockchain just one big accounting ledger in the sky?

(QwwQ) < …Yeah, I guess. Technically speaking.

(n_ll) < So what’s so funny about accounting for goals on the blockchain?

(QwwQ) < Well, for one — it’s not JUST an accounting ledger. It’s distributed p2p systems. It’s crypto-economics. It’s fungible and non-fungible tokens. It’s not just DAOs, or LAOs, or TCRs. It’s flat governance systems. Liquid democracy. Decentralized identity. Prediction markets. Mining. Proof of stake. Sharding. Schelling points. Beacon chains, side chains, state channels, you name it. I think it goes without saying that accounting isn’t nearly as interesting as any of that stuff, let alone relevant.

(n_ll) < Hmm. I‘m not sure I agree with your last point, but you sure seem to know a lot about the individual components that contribute to the overall idea of a blockchain system. So tell me this, QwwQ: what does it all mean?

(QwwQ) < What do you mean, “What does it all mean?”

(n_ll) < I mean like…who cares?

(QwwQ) < Umm…I care, obviously. I spent the last four years of my life developing these ideas after all. That’s more than anyone can say about you.

(n_ll) < And for what? So you could sit around and trade Cryptokitties all day?

(QwwQ) < Excuse me? I don’t play Cryptokitties anymore. It’s all about Cheeze Wiz…

(n_ll) < So you could make Ethereum “too big to fork” by putting the same kinds of derivatives that nearly brought about the collapse of Western society as we know it onto the blockchain, in the name of making it more “stable?”

(QwwQ) < No, that’s not why I work in crypto, n_ll. And you’re starting to piss me off with your line of questioning.

(n_ll) < Then what is it? So you could make a 💩 ton of money and run off to Puerto Rico to create a brand new utopia with only the people who “get it,” like you?

(QwwQ) < NO!

(n_ll) < What, so you could travel the world to escape your troubles? To buy more things to put on you, around you, or in you, and bury the miserable feeling of having to look at yourself in the mirror each and every mor….

(QwwQ) < STOP IT, n_ll!

(n_ll) < To buy fake friends and pay for loveless se…

(QwwQ) < I SAID STOP.

(n_ll) < deep breath. Okay. I’ll stop.

But you tell me then, QwwQ. What are you here for?

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