I Have The Internet

Do you know that every time I post anything that has to do with Hillary Clinton or even Donald Trump somebody feels the need to post about Benghazi. Or Honduras. Or emails. Or Goldwater. Or GMOs. Or Fracking. Which I’m really grateful for because I don’t have the internet. Oh, no. Wait. I DO. I DO have the internet. I’ve had the internet since some of these post-ers were in pull-ups. Listen Mr. Huggies (its almost ALWAYS a man) I don’t need your intel. Promise. You don’t know more than me. You don’t. HONEST. I know you think you know more than me because you frequent thisisfuckingawesome.com or insideinfoandshit.org, but guess what? Those are blogs. Like THIS is a blog. Those are just other dudes, like yourself, who went to other blogs written by other people, like yourself, and posted by other people, like yourself. So you’re pretty much masturbating and getting that spooge all over my Facebook page. Grab a sock and spooge onto your OWN Facebook page. Then I want you to find a website without a picture of a big toe with fungus on it and research your allegations. Really look into context, nuance and complexity of those allegations. Then if, after having gone to a non-partisan, non-blog, you still feel your info is useful put it on YOUR Facebook page, blog, website, Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, etc. Then those who give a shit about what you think will be able to find your thoughts. Because I probably don’t give a shit what you think. And before you ask me how I can vote for “the lying devil woman” I’ll answer. Either by punching out a chad or selecting a circle. That’s how.

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