More Things I Don’t Like

  • This has become the place I go to vent about things that annoy me. I will try to start venting about things I DO like, but not today.

I don’t like dyeing my hair. But when I say to people I want to stop they act as though I’ve decided to have pro-active wrinkling done to my face. Is allowing your hair to go gray such a sin? I’m not fooling anybody with my dyed hair. People don’t look at me and think “Mo is still in her 20’s, it’s a miracle!” The upkeep on a person trying to keep formally dark brown hair dark brown is crazy. My hair grows at an alarming rate so every 2 to 3 weeks I have those gray roots that make it look like I have an inch wide baldish looking parting in my hair. Please tell me at what age it is acceptable to let your gray/silver/white hair flag fly! Because this dyeing busines is getting me down and costs a buttload.

I don’t like that Women’s Equality Day and National Dog Day are on the same day. Who decided this? They couldn’t wait ONE day to give the dogs their due? Oh and, FYI, it’s ALWAYS National Dog Day on my Facebook feed. To be completely honest after the first 5 pics of the same pet I merely glance at them to make sure they are still alive. A video is a different story, if your dog (or cat) is doing something magical I will watch those each time. But a photo? ANOTHER photo of Marco lounging on the bed? Not so much. Please don’t hate me for saying this, there are plenty of people who gaze lovingly at any and all dog photos. And I like dogs, I have a dog named Frank and yes, I’ve posted a couple of pictures of him. Go right past them if you like. Anywho, we can’t change Women’s Equality Day because it falls on an actual historic day, the certification of the 19th Amendment. So how about we change the Dog Day please.

I don’t like that carbs are the thing that make you fat. Carbs are in all the best foods. I’m a little convinced that carbs are a flavor and that flavor is love. Bread is delicious, full of carbs. Pasta. PASTA is a carb jamboree. Potato chips, donuts, muffins, cake, tortilla chips, Capn’ Crunch. Okay I know you’re thinking, “Really, Mo? Capn’ Crunch?” Yes. Cap’n Crunch is a nearly perfect cereal even though it’s dangerous and WILL cut up your gums. But it is FULL of deadly carbs. If I tell my doctor or ANY doctor that I want to drop a few pounds they say, “Eat less carbs.” Then they might mention exercise but I ignore that part and just resent them for the carbs remark. I know there is nothing we can do about this but I thought I’d bring it up anyway.

I don’t like that some men are so defensive about feminism. It’s ridiculous. If you’re not a sexist asshole man then there is no reason to be defensive. I realize that, being a man, you might be a little tired of hearing about the woes of women. I get it. I do. But in that case you can just skip over any rants or exposés or treatises on how women feel about being seen and treated as less-than. Because even though NBC says “The more you know” who needs knowing how women feel? Knowing things is over rated, right? Even when you do read them and know how a woman feels you think to yourself, “I’m going to poke holes in how she feels, I’m going to tell her about a woman I know who doesn’t feel that way.” Good job! Because there honestly is only ONE way for women to feel and you found the one woman who feels the way you want women to feel. So please post and let everybody know that YOU know the correct way for women to feel. OR…Read it and take it in and and try to think if there’s a way you can avoid being complicit in the bullshit women still face. Because as much as you might be tired of hearing about it we are totally fucking wrung out from living it.

I don’t like “selfies.” I mean the selfies of a single person who takes a picture of themselves with their phone. When this selfie business came into vogue I was sure SOMEBODY would say, “Stop being so conceited!” But no. We are enchanted with our own visages. We feel the need to show other people what we look like CONSTANTLY. It’s become perfectly normal to regularly post a picture of yourself, that you yourself have taken. I don’t mind so much if somebody is standing in front of the Grand Canyon or the Taj Mahal but their toilet? When I’ve taken a selfie I go to great lengths to make it look as though somebody ELSE took the picture. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s me who has the problem.