A guy who no-showed my wedding last minute had the audacity to ask me for a favor… this is how I replied

So let me get this straight.

I helped you out on a few things couple of years back without asking or expecting anything in return.

You moved away and you didn’t really keep in touch.

I get engaged and then send you an invitation to my wedding.

You RSVP ‘YES’ but don’t show up. I don’t get a call, email, text, or Facebook message from you apologizing and/or congratulating me.

I see you at Target a few months after my wedding and you give me a look as if you just saw a ghost. I ask you why you couldn’t make it to the wedding, you simply reply “Ohh, I couldn’t come that day, I was busy”, without apologizing for not showing up and not sounding remorseful at all.

Now a year later, you reach out to me telling me that you are looking for a job and to hook you up with connections!?

Man I will be honest, if I was an employer, I would hire you in a heartbeat. What you did takes BALLS! Balls the size of Mars. You have no shame and are uber-confident. And honestly, that’s what a lot of employers are looking for these days.

Unfortunately, I do not make the hiring decisions at my company and to tell you the truth you might be overqualified for the group I work in simply based on your outrageous personality. We tend to hire more mellow and laid back people.

So I don’t have any connections to hook you up with at the moment, but as somebody who has worked in the Corporate world for almost 8 years now and have interviewed at tons of places, I can offer you some tips:

1) Opportunism — Although your confidence is noteworthy, you come across as an opportunist. Don’t get me wrong. We are all opportunists at some level. After all we are human and are somewhat selfish. We base many of our relationships on our personal incentives, more specifically on how those relationships can benefit us. That’s natural and accepted to a certain extent. However, people in the Corporate world tend to shun those who are pure opportunists. You don’t need to bribe people to get ahead nor should you be expected to return favors right away, but when seeking an opportunity, you should show what value you are offering for the position you are seeking.

2) Professionalism — Don’t underestimate this. Show up on time. Keep your word. Only cancel a meeting if you must. Apologize when you do cancel.

3) Self-Awareness — Own up to your mistakes and admit your weaknesses. We all make mistakes, we are human. After you make a mistake, the question becomes how serious are you in correcting it and what are you doing to prevent it from happening again. But the first step is, admitting the mistake itself.

Admitting weaknesses and working towards correcting them is also something that’s looked at in positivity. In fact, one of the most widely asked questions in interviews is “What are your biggest weaknesses.” Be prepared to honestly answer that.

4) Network — This word has been overused and sometimes abused over the years. However it is so key that it can be the sole difference of whether you land a certain job or not. Keep in touch with key people throughout the year and not only when you need them. Ask them to see how they are doing and offer them insight and advice from your perspective that they may find to be of value. This way you are avoiding being and coming across as an opportunist.

5) Gratitude — Trust me when I say that this goes a long way. This is the most human of qualities. Be thankful to those people who have helped you at some point in your life. Especially those that have not expected anything in return. Know that they are the ones that truly care about your professional well-being. Always try to say Thanks or Thank You at the end of e-mails even if the recipient isn’t doing anything for you. Just the fact the person is taking his/her time to correspond with you is enough to express gratitude.

So although I was unable to ‘hook you up’ with connections, I really hope you take this advice to heart. Internalizing these tips will go a long way and will be more value add to your career than if I had simply hooked you up.

Happy job hunting.