Painted red!

Writing is just for my personal fulfilment. None can take that away. Someday, I want to live just with these.

I have no faith in after-life. But….I wish to incarcerate as your son in my next life. You will be a good mom, I know. Have you ever realised what you were to me?

Everything that I live for.

You are a good genie with magical charisma. Yeah, you were with me during my hard times. You foresaw what to make out of nothing (me!). I was broke mentally, lost confidence and a loser in every aspect. You took things seriously and pushed me to extents. Made me explore opportunities and try things out. I was insulted quite a few times, failed almost every time but never broke because of you. I was trying to make myself into something which your dad cannot refuse. All my works, plans, business, contacts and emotions revolved around your family. Despite my failures, I recognised that I have got to do something unique for the betterment of every form of life. I almost started from scratch leaving behind everything that my dad can afford. Uniqueness is what I could have convinced your family with. Yeah, I’m from a different caste. I cannot change my birth caste. Though my family being conservative, they accepted you. My mom, both my sisters and even their husbands considered you a perfect fit. I once tried living a brahminic life for almost 3 months and I succeeded. The irony is, you don’t vouch much for your caste or anything like that. I tried just to test myself if I can live the way your family expects, if incase situation arises. I thrice told you to talk to your dad. We both lost everything because of your fear of your dad losing his ‘caste-respect’. In every way, you knew my family and why do you restrict yourself thinking your dad might not be open to us. You are his lovely child. How could he have not listened to you?! You never tried because of your fear. Beyond everything, I once asked my mom if she could talk to your family and see if things can work. You refused!!!! What were you expecting me to do? You know well the fact that my mom believes in the ethical and social values of my family and caste. Breaking all her conservative thoughts, she accepted to talk to your family. Almost everyone around me, all friends and relatives knew you were there in my life. Now answerable to everyone, that being my least concern. I shouldn’t have struck and took you deep into me.

I wish no man to experience this.