THE LIMPIDITY OF THOUGHTS
I sat under the shower today
Haven’t had felt so helpless before.
The water ran over my body
To wash my loneliness completely.
I took two-three deep breaths
And sensed the emotions flowing along with the water.
As the water reached till every part of my body,
Every feeling from the minute gaps started oozing out.
I tried to swallow, I tried to grab
But everything seemed to slip off.
I stopped trying to take control
And everything seemed justified.
I stretched my legs to the relax myself
And that very minute, peace came in.
All the diverted thoughts looked channelised !
As I hold my body with both hands around.
The water felt soothing
The body felt calming.
All the emotions of fear, insecurity, pretending, and discomfort
Were being washed off.
I could see myself being easy
With myself, for myself, to myself.
In a minute or two
I was changed.
I wasn’t tensed or alone
I was happy with the sound of my own.
But somewhere in my conscious
It was not easy to let go things.
Let go feelings
Let go the old me .
I still wasn’t letting go the old.
I still wasn’t welcoming the new.
Whilst this dilemma
I took a splash of water on my face.
I didn’t know,
blurred vision would make things
clear and glow.
The splash as if gave me confidence
The splash as if gave me comfort.
I repeated to take a couple of breaths
But this time they were drastically different !
They were surprisingly fresh
They were surprisingly free.
As again the water droplets rolled over my face
I could sense worries going off.
The chilled cold shower water
Felt as cozy as a special place beside the fireplace.
I got up and wiped my being
I could see the dirt of dullness being cleansed.
As I wiped my face,
I could see the real smile pop up there.
As I wore my warm Turkish robe,
I felt like a knight in shining armour.
I had almost conquered the helpless phase
I had become comfortable with myself.
Maybe the quest is until
We accept our feelings.
Maybe the quest is until
We overcome the discouraging emotions.
As I was stepping out of the bathroom
I could feel the change in myself.
I was very bold and confident
I was very sure and undoubted.
Knowing and accepting ourselves is very essential.
Sitting and not defending ourselves to ourselves is very essential.
The battle between we and we is until
