228: On trying to be deep, and letting yourself be shallow

Some of the first questions I was asked by my peers on Remote Year were about my reasons for joining.

Everyone around me had a story: divorce, broken dreams, destroyed businesses, messed up relationships, loss of family ties, a deep seated dissatisfaction with their life’s trajectory. My fellow travelers all seemed to have a driving reason for their departure. Something to lose; something to find.

I’ve spent the past 8 months wondering why I pressed pause on my life and packed my bags. I’ve been saddled with the overwhelming sense that if I’m not looking for something — If I’m not truly searching for life’s or my meaning — there must be something wrong with me, with my intentions. I’ve read other remotes’ blogs, their Facebook posts, their Instagram captions, drawn in by their depth and sense of purpose, bereft for my own lack thereof. And then, today, I realized I’m just shallow.

I have no great purpose. I have no motivational life’s tale. I’ve suffered little loss. I’ve suffered almost nothing, to be honest. I’m not searching for a piece of me that’s missing; I feel almost entirely whole. I’m not trying to become someone else. I’m not trying to let go of someone I was before. I have nothing to seek, and nothing to lose. I have everything I’ve ever needed. I’m satisfied.

And that’s ok.

The real reasons I boarded a plane 8 months ago, the reasons I’ve boarded a new one at least once a month since, may seem to lack depth. They’re good enough for me.

I’m on Remote Year because I like getting a little lost every day

I’m on Remote Year because there’s nothing like waking up to a brand new view

I’m on Remote Year because the food is delicious

I’m on Remote Year because there’s something satisfying about figuring out how to buy groceries in a new country

I’m on Remote Year because I like seeing things I’ve never seen before

I’m on Remote Year because I love getting great shots for Instagram

I’m on Remote Year because sun-drenched ocean vistas make me smile

I’m on Remote Year because complaining about packing every month is kind of fun

I’m on Remote Year because local liquors are always an adventure

I’m on Remote Year because no matter how many mountains you climb, the view is always different

I’m on Remote Year because meeting new people opens my eyes

I’m on Remote Year because I like getting lost in crowds of people who don’t speak my language or know my name

I’m on Remote Year because observing how the world is different and how it’s the same gives me food for thought

I’m on Remote Year because I hate going to the same bar twice

I’m on Remote Year because the feeling of the wind blowing through my hair is the same everywhere

I’m on Remote Year because spending my money on exotic trinkets gives me a cheap thrill

I’m on Remote Year because there’s nothing better than managing to communicate with someone whose language you don’t speak

I’m on Remote Year because now I have friends all over the world

I’m on Remote Year because no two neighborhoods look the same

I’m on Remote Year because I get bored really easily

I’m on Remote Year because I like seeing pink houses and cobbled streets

I’m on Remote Year because I enjoy the way new cultures influence my personal style

I’m on Remote Year because the people I’m traveling with are some of the best I’ve ever known

I’m on Remote Year because I love it when I have a tan

I’m on Remote Year because I have no reason not to be

I’m on Remote Year because I’m 25

I’m on Remote Year because I felt like it.