T-30: How Can This Packing List Not Say Anything About Shoes? And Other Questions I Don’t Expect Anyone To Answer

First published April 29, 2016

1. Would anyone really notice if I brought my dog in my suitcase?
2. What if all the adults on my trip realize I’m just a helpless infant in adult’s clothing?
3. WHAT IF I CAN’T FIND DECENT PIZZA FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR?
4. How many chokers is it reasonable to pack? 8? 10?
5. Where will I watch American football?
6. How do I watch the bachelorette?
7. How do I prevent my group members from finding out I watch the bachelorette?
8. Why don’t we all use universal wall plugs? It’s 2016. Come on.
9. What if people confuse my resting bitch face for actual bitchiness?
10. What if I get drunk and do karaoke in front of literally anyone?
11. How can this packing list not say anything about shoes?
12. Will our workspaces provide coffee?
13. If our workspaces don’t provide coffee, how will we avoid bloodshed?
14. Why do they need to know my blood type?
15. Why do I spend so much time worrying about my organs?
16. What if someone follows me on Spotify ahead of the trip and finds out how much 90’s punk pop I listen to?
17. Why did I memorize all the lyrics to Jumpman instead of learning Spanish?
18. Who will help me when I slide into such a weird sitting position that I can’t get myself out of it?
19. What if my best friend finds a new best friend while I’m away?
20. Will people judge me for how much greek yogurt I consume on a daily basis?
21. How many leather jackets is too many leather jackets?
22. How do I stay in the US for 30 more days without going crazy?