I think the biggest thing that keeps us from voicing our story is shame. We fear that we will be rejected or that our natural flaws make us somehow less than “good enough.” With trauma, it took me a long time to write about it mostly because I was taking a long time to sift through it myself, in therapy and in my own mind. Other years I was completely avoiding thinking about it altogether, let alone writing about it AND sharing it. It sounds like you are acknowledging that you are ready, and I think that’s a natural (and super important) part of healing. Even if you have doubts, you’re doing it. That’s all that matters.
For a while I thought I was disgusting because of what happened to me and that it was all my fault. I also feared that people would judge me or wouldn’t believe me. (I’m not going to lie when I say a few skeptics have crossed my path as some of my trauma writing has gained attention, but the positive parts always outweigh the ignorance).
It depends on who or where you share it with. Friends and family I am pretty cautious with…mainly because I have to face them regularly in person.
I can guarantee you that 95% of the people on here will be nothing but supportive and present for you on this journey. It’s anonymous enough to open up and be vulnerable, but is still healing in the fact that you can put your name to your story.
Take your time, but don’t let fear and shame control you in the end. You will be astonished, (or at least pleasantly surprised), with the joy and peace that writing on here will give you. ❤
Oh, and speaking of not being brave enough, I haven’t even read the letter to my husband yet! Some day I will, but for now I will just remind myself of why I wrote it, especially on the days where I want to push him away.