Medium, (like anything else in this world) can be a bit of a game at times. Notoriety for any of my work sends the endorphins flowing, but yes, things always return to normal after that. It’s like that term the media has given for the moment you finish a Netflix series that you were completely in love with, and you suddenly become super depressed and purposeless- a “show-hole”…but this is almost like a “recognition-hole” (I really can’t think of a better term at the moment and I know there is one). It can be tough to have a piece go viral and then see that your other work is not getting as much feedback- pieces that you think are even better than the one that became popular. “Do I suck now?” “Does everyone hate me?” I’ve been feeling a little bit of that these days with an outside blog that I manage. I even feel a bit of internal competition with the other writers, which I fucking hate to admit… because it feels a little sick.
None of this keeps me from writing- it just tells me that I’m human. We all just want to be seen and loved, but sometimes we just need to differentiate between the time to be in the spotlight, and the time to sit down and do the hard work. Thanks for reminding me of the important stuff, and the reason I join sites like this- to write!