An Open Letter to the Youth Minister I Married,

When we first met I had no idea where this journey would take us. I had no idea if I even liked you enough to make it past the first date. When we did, I had no idea you would be willing to marry me and all the “crazy” that came with me. I had no idea that G-d would bless us with 2 daughters, a home of our own, and a lifetime full of chaos, memories, and love. I had no clue if either of us would find our dream job and be able to go to work and not feel like we were actually working. But as life would have it you accomplished that. You found a job that you love; that you wake up passionate about every day, and that you go to sleep at the end of a 15 hour day still loving. You are blessed. But so am I.

I know that I don’t tell you enough how much I appreciate the often thankless job that you do and all the things that it has provided for our family other than the paycheck at the end of each month. The one where you are expected to transport youth from one location to another, listen to drama, play nice with all the other adults, and facilitate discussions with curious young adults and youth who are still trying to find out if they even believe in G-D. I complain, A LOT, because of the fact that sometimes you choose it over us, and those “kids” over our own, and for that I’m sorry. I know it’s never about us versus them, and it’s always about what that Big Guy is guiding you to do. It’s always what you’ve been called to do by someone much more important than me. And of course you listen, you always do, and thank goodness for that; you search for solutions that will make it better for me; but in the end it’s not about me and it’s not about us; it’s about HIM. It’s about you ministering to the people around you in every aspect of your life, because that’s what G-d’s plan for us is.

What I don’t do is say thank you. Thank you for being a listening ear to youth that are so overwhelmed with school; thank you for being a supportive friend to the youth leader who is struggling to connect with youth or parents; thank you for letting the young people in our church explore their own thoughts and beliefs and letting them know it’s ok to be different; thank you for showing them who G-d is through your actions, words, and love. Thank you for never letting a call for help go unnoticed; for reassuring crazy hormonal teenage girls (and boys) that they are worthy of being loved and are loved more than they could imagine by you and by G-d. Thank you for not letting petty church politics change how you serve in the church and community of Christ. Thank you for stepping up to the plate anytime someone needs a volunteer, for going well above your job description to ensure that G-d’s work is carried out and realizing that His work is never done.

Thank you for being our daughters’ friend’s “dad-mom” and answering when they “ring ring ring” the bell. Thanks for being a voice of reason for our entire family, (all the time) no matter how chaotic our life becomes. Thank you for letting our girls paint your nails and toes and for displaying them proudly; for being a good sport in a house full of estrogen and never wishing you had boys instead of girls. For allowing others to become the best versions of themselves, for encouraging from the sidelines, and for never once asking anyone for anything in return.

Thank you for being a living example of your baptismal covenant and loving others for exactly who they are, even if they don’t know who that might be yet. Thank you for helping them see that they are exactly as G-d intended them to be. For speaking up for those who don’t have a voice; for seeing things from a different perspective. For making church an adventure; and for allowing G-d to use you to bring others closer to Him. For delivering a message that Jesus is about love and forgiveness; He’s about second chances and hope. Thank you for showing others Grace and Mercy and loving them the same when they mess up. Thank you for teaching me how to do the same. Thanks for the late nights and early mornings; for the weeks you spend away from home and your family. Thank you for being the best example of yourself and for allowing G-d to guide you through this journey.

Thank you for not letting your ministry end when you leave the church and for bringing it with you wherever you go. I couldn’t have asked or dreamt of a better person to share my life with. You are selfless, nurturing, forgiving, funny, loving, and weird. You are the best partner and teammate; and I wouldn’t want to imagine my life with anyone else. I don’t say thank you near enough for following your heart and the voice of G-d and I often complain about all the things that I cherish about you most. All the things that I’m thankful for that I wouldn’t want to have you live without.

So thank you for being selfless, for giving more of yourself every day to others, to me, and to G-d; but most of all thank you for letting me be selfish and complain about all the things I am grateful for that we couldn’t live without.

With love,

Your wife