Motivation: The Hot & Messy Way
I spend a lot of my down-time on the floor. It used to be moping around and thinking. Now I just removed the moping around and think…
No one said it’s going to be easy. So quit thinking it. Don’t compare your life to others — fairy tales don’t exist. Reality does. Whenever I hear a song, see a movie, or read a book about one awesome person doing awesome things for another person (whether it’s love, forgiveness, vengeance… mostly romance) I like to shout out “YOU’RE NOT REAL”, then laugh about it and enjoy the fucking song. So next time you see or hear something, you too, shout it out. It’s fun.
After accepting life, and it’s flawed ways, I changed my outward opinions… One thought at a time. One day at a time. I wrote it down, and doodled while I did. My best friend (and soul mate) made a post-it wall in her bathroom; make it anywhere you’ll go. I wrote songs and sang them. No, that wasn’t my cat dying, it was me. Or be dorky and act it out to yourself. Keep telling yourself that you’ll change and stay consistent with yourself. Be your own best friend. Chew through your stubbornness. Laugh like a crazy person (you know you are one bahaha). Be creative and let loose. BE A FUCKING HOT MESS IF YOU HAVE TO. Then apologize to yourself and be grateful for the people who stuck around. Feeling better? Time to move on!
I have children that are on a routine. They are performing much better on it. They don’t know what it is, or even know how to do it. They just listen to me day-by-day. I made myself one so that I can preform better. I might have too much variety (and hobbies) in mine — I do not live a boring life. The creation of my routine has become a habit: I. Just. Do.
Today was a little hard — maybe because I stayed up. Fuck bedtime, I can handle it…just kidding, I could use a nap. [It was invented for a reason. Use it.] I was proud of myself for staying up in the morning, instead of going back to bed. I did suffer the consequences and was a little slow at getting motivated. So I hung out. Luckily my mom wanted to socialize with me, so I did that. What was really on my mind was to write a schedule for the week on my dry erase board: 8 days (Friday to Friday). Then I write this on every one of those days: weather (50*), what to wear (jacket and jeans), then at least 3 things I must do for the day (exercise, applications, kids). I ran out of some ideas during the week, but if I don’t complete them this weekend, because I only get my daughter every other weekend, I’ll put them off the next day…
…Yeah, yeah, yeah, I shouldn’t put off what I can do today. Fuck you. Playing with my kids is more important. I’ll live, and get it done later ;)