Such is life.

I really kinda feel miserable. Jobless, aimless with no idea where to go what to do. It really just kinda sucks. I try so hard to look at how to turn everything around. how to be better. how to feel better. but really. how? because I really dont know. I thought writing about it can help me feel better but when i sit down and type away, nothing comes out. Or rather nothing that I feel that is good enough comes out of whatever I write. Yes I am feeling self pity.

Its like you know all that is wrong, all that you should not do but yet you still dont find what is it that you are suppose to do. Because while you know what’s wrong, how do you know whats right. Sadly. yes. I know I should not wallow in self pity and walk myself out of this. But where to? I screwed myself over. and over and to the point that I really don’t know who I am or what I’m doing. And I honestly have no idea who I have become. People say the older we get, the wiser we become. Well, I am living proof that it really doesn’t happen. We chase dreams, we aim for our goals. But I have none. I have no idea what I want. Such is life.