Today I realised one thing. Back in Singapore, I am comfortable when I am outside, outdoors, away from my house, my room. I badly want to get out and just sit in Starbucks or roam among the rows of books at Kinokuniya.

Here in Macau, I only enjoy staying home. I do not really like to head out and enjoy the outside, outdoors. I feel more in control in the house in Macau because I have the freedom to do as I please. Unlike in Singapore where at home I am more limited, here in Macau, I cook and clean at home giving me a greater sense of belonging to the house.

Yet in Singapore, I enjoy heading out, having a life, looking at people, wondering and pondering about life.

Maybe that is why I am so torn because both are so important to me but you cannot have a cake and eat it.

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