It’s interesting how difficult it is for me to paint a rosy, glorious scene for myself even in the script of but one single day. This world’s shadows have never been so apparent to me as they are presently. Who am I to ignore them? Who am I not to? I do not have to believe the hype and yet I have spent a lifetime doing just that. Even beyond the clouds, the sun still shines. Heck, even when the luminous moon is hung high in the blackened sky the sun still shines…simply because I do not see it with my eyes does not mean it is not glowing hotly and vibrantly. Ah, indeed, vision. Pretty simple…not so freakin’ easy.

I must prelude this by stating that even after sitting in stillness my vision is still murky. I asked Holy Spirit to reveal what it is I really want. The only answer I know with all of my being is to be a conduit of Love, and it is in this state of Being that I will be joyful. How it is to be obtained is in my tuning into God in each moment. He is always there. When I’m aligned vertically with Him, there is nothing else. I do not know how this looks per say, not continuously for sure…but below I will paint a picture of the absolute Freedom availed as I envision it to be. In my experience, when I attempt to determine the Truth, I always sorely, sorely shortchange myself. Perhaps this too will be an example of that. I do not know. That is okay! So…here I go.

I am roused awake by my puppy’s subtle whines. He knows what to do to get our attention. Thoughts of gratitude stir my soul as a smile spreads across my lips. My eyes are heavy as I rise from the bed in our darkened bedroom in search of the robe. My heart is light. I thank God silently. So many blessings. Joy is radiating outward from my soul. A prayer reverberates my being, “Thank you, God. Here I am! May I do your bidding today. Please allow me to do what you would have me do, go where you would have me go, say what you would have me say and to whom, and Be who it is you would have me Be. Amen”. Whoop, there it is!

I switch the coffee maker on after letting the pup out to do his business. Sweet Pooey is on her own schedule so I’m not going to make her go outside right now. If I assist her off of her love-seat in my attempt to get her to go join her brother she’s liable to just jump back up, shooting me a “how dare you” look of disdain. Bulldogs. They are one of an (awesome!) kind!

All is right in my beautiful “world”. I’m not thinking!

As the coffee maker burps and spews I sit and steep with my ACIM Lesson. Fears are not entering my mind. The hamster wheel is still. MiRacLe! I am aligned in Pure Love as my sweetie is still asleep across our comfy home in our warm and toasty bed. The pup is now munching away on his breakfast nibbles at my feet, coffee in hand, I continue my studies of ACIM into the Text and the Manual for Teachers.

Somewhere in this mix of my morning ritual my honey rises from bed enveloping me in a sweet embrace and a kiss on my forehead. We prepare and eat breakfast together enjoying each others company immensely. Shortly thereafter he is off to work and I am off to enjoy a steaming hot bath. Yummy!

Once refreshed I turn on my computer to start my writing for the day. Writing is my passion. It is through the tap, tap, tap of the keyboard that I am able to show up and shine brightly upon others. It’s not “me” shining, it’s Me shining, the Me of We! The only Me there is.

I spend hours lost in the prose of my heart-light. It is true happiness. I have found my function! It is through my words, though not mine at all, in which my purpose may at last be fulfilled. Grace! In following my calling I have all that I need and so much more. I am rich, not materialistically speaking, but in all ways that matter to the core of me; the beacon of my soul may cast forth only in my following my intuitive song.

Later, after more doggie time, I go out for a run. When I care for my body, I tend to be more spiritually sound. It is amazing how physical exercise assists me in choosing Love. It pumps me up with vitality! The better to pass on to you my dear!

A quick hot shower, then a few telephone calls with girlfriends…no gossip, simply support, encouragement, laughter, yep, a lot of laughter!, then off to Hospice to volunteer for a few hours.

Hospice, what an organization of tenderness if there ever is one! The atmosphere is ethereal. In the walls of this facility there exists profound unity of the heart, vulnerability, kindness…it is indeed a very special place. I am gifted with the ability to sit with patients moving through transition and simply convey Love through whatever means is called upon. Here is where I have truly experienced that it is in giving which I receive. It almost seems insane to have become as comfortable with “death” as I have. So against my ideals of it I held onto for over forty years.

I interrupt this vision with a story! Almost 4 years ago I experienced the first passing of an immediate family member, my brother, Sean, a young 43. At that time in my life “death” was traumatic, shocking, and horrible. I have since made peace with this event. Having lost my dad four months later, my mom a year later, and my youngest brother, Brian, age 39 this past December, well…I have come to terms with the experience. I can rage against the machine, or hold onto the Love, that which never changes, and accept “dying” as a part of living. I can even glorify that they are free from the nightmare of this world. No more darkness, they are now One with the Light. Mmmmm, yes. That will do, thank you! I choose peace, please!!!!

After leaving Hospice, I return home to my best friend, and our babies. We enjoy a nice meal (love to eat! and cook!), more laughter, and communication. Our dessert is to ride our Harley’s in the warm sunshine of the early evening. Riding has turned into a long prayer of gratitude for me, a continual, “Thank You, God!!!”. That is not what it was in the beginning, that is for sure! It was a hailstorm of curse words as I slooooooowly learned to, well, not drop my beautiful motorcycle!!!! Nevertheless, riding with my partner…..priceless!

Once home we change into our jammies and get comfy. My children each call me to check in. They are excited to talk to me and share with us how their day went….vivacious and full of life, the both of them. They fill my heart to overflowing! Me and my hubby-to-be sit close, holding hands or cuddled up. We will chat, or watch a little t.v., and chat some more…then it is my favorite time of all, bedtime, when I can intertwine with my baby as we snuggle/cuddle through the night. This is the G version. ☺

As I close my eyes I thank God for another glorious day, closing with a prayer, “Dear God, if left to my own devices my perception will be skewed. I surrender to you everything I think and feel. Please take my past and plan my future. Send your Spirit to redeem my mind that I might be set free. May I be Your vessel God. Please allow me to do Your bidding. Thank You, God, for my beautiful, abundant life. Amen.”

That there is my Vision of Perfect Love. Dang, I have it all!!!!! I AM!!! GOD IS!