Why listening to ourselves is our one key to happiness
Every day we receive so much information.
Questions, demands, complaints, and wishes from the world in general but mostly from people around us.
There are deadlines to respect, goals to reach, favors to do, and many of us feel that we always have to live up to all of them.
I want to say one thing: you don’t have to listen.
Of course, work deadlines that really matter are not to be dismissed, and you can’t refuse your child from feeding him.
Allow yourself to say no
For many of us, saying no is really hard.
We want to please others, be validated by them, by society, by ourselves too, we feel guilty if we don’t do “what we’re supposed to” and that makes us feel uneasy.
I say that’s a mistake.
For myself personally, it’s a paradox, seeing as I’ve also been told a sentence recently that I’ve well imprinted in my head: say what you do and do what you say.
Indeed, in business but surely also in personal life, doing what you say and vice versa seems important. It allows people to trust you, it allows you to know and be able to say that you are a reliable person; and in business it simply makes you be someone others want to work with, or not.
But I will finally make my point, the original one of this article.
If you listen to yourself and that place inside says no, listen to it.
I’ve decided to write a Medium article every day, side-by-side with my mentor and friend Xavier Litt, and we’ve been at it for almost two weeks now. He actually has written every single day since Monday the 19th. A great example of discipline and consistency, one of his best qualities.
I had written every day this week. Except for yesterday.
After a week of packing boxes at my father's, working 10–12h hours a day, I traveled by plane yesterday, which I hate, then had almost two hours of public transport in the noisy and tedious Paris.
After arriving home, unpacking, and having dinner, my mind and body were just too tired.
I hesitated. I could have actually written an article. I would have probably been really proud of myself, for keeping my streak (I’m really into streaks, I’ve found they really work for me — a topic for another day).
But I felt I really didn’t want to force myself; so I listened and slept away.
You will be thanked (by yourself) for having listened
And I woke up this morning feeling fresh, rested, happy and motivated, and here I am catching up on my articles (just) a few hours late.
It would have taken me fifteen minutes to write. I could have done it. Should I blame myself for not doing it? Should I tell myself that I could have done better and that I was wrong to let go?
I could. But I don’t think so.
Listening to yourself matters in almost all cases. Don’t force yourself to go to that diner if you don’t feel it, stop working when your body tells you it’s had enough, and don’t surrender to family obligations if they are harmful to you in any way. Also, and that might be the hardest of all: don’t make yourself do things that your own psychological barriers trick you into thinking that’s what you should.
In the end, you’re what matters. Because it’s only by being the best of yourself that you can try to help others.
