Regaining Financial Control Post-Divorce

Going through a divorce can be devastating, both emotionally and financially. In this final post of our three-part series addressing the financial decisions a woman should make before, during, and after a divorce, let’s look into considerations that should be made to regain financial control after a divorce is finalized.

Once again, we asked Kris Algert, Kelly Ausley-Flores, and Kelly Caperton Fischer, attorneys with GoransonBain Ausley, PLLC, for guidance. Their tips, gleaned from witnessing thousands of divorce scenarios, focus on two complementary attributes: empowerment and acceptance.

Take control

One thing your divorce undoubtedly taught you is where you stand with your finances and what you need to make to maintain your lifestyle. Unfortunately for some, this isn’t information you may have had or may have paid much attention to before, but you’re in the driver seat now.

“Before a divorce, many individuals don’t truly know how much they’re spending. They don’t know how much it takes to run the house. They don’t know where their money is. It can make you feel powerless, that you’re relying on everybody else to give you the answers,” says Algert.

Ausley-Flores adds that women who are the primary wage earners are often caught the most off-guard because they may have been making the money, but their spouse was handling the daily budget, investments, and other financial duties.

“And now at least half of your estate is going to someone else. It’s a big adjustment for both sides,” she says.

Now that you’re armed with that power, don’t lose it. If you secured your own financial advisor and/or CPA during the divorce proceedings, continue on with those types of professionals. Open your own accounts and do whatever it takes to maintain control of your finances. But then also set new financial goals, make your own investment decisions, and find other ways to get excited about forging your very own financial future.

Be financially self-sufficient

It’s also likely that, during the divorce proceedings, you realized that your work situation may need to change. “Texas isn’t considered a very generous state to the stay-at-home, non-wage earner or lower-wage earner spouse,” Algert says. Only the marital assets and liabilities are divided between the divorcing couple; future wages and income are not divided and court-ordered spousal maintenance (i.e. alimony) can be difficult to obtain in most Texas divorces. Generally, judges are directed to order spousal maintenance in a limited amount for a limited period of time if a spouse even meets the criteria for receiving spousal maintenance. The best thing you can do is figure out how you can achieve financial self-sufficiency.

She adds that a better plan is to get back on your feet as quickly as possible.

“If you haven’t already decided, it’s time to think ‘what do I want to do and what do I need to do to get to that place?’ Maybe that’s going back to school and taking some classes, or maybe it’s just reinitiating contact with people who have been helpful to your career in the past,” she offers.

Move forward

It’s likely you’ll find love again. But learn from the past and make sure you don’t lose sight of your finances and assets. Both individuals in a relationship should have active knowledge and control over their financial destinies.

When children are involved, your financial and emotional health will remain strongly intertwined with your former spouse. You’ll need to create a solid foundation moving forward with that relationship as well.

“A co-parenting therapist can be very helpful and can help keep the parties really focused on the kids,” Caperton Fischer says. She adds that as the individuals move on, remarry, etc., there will naturally be jealousy and a difference of opinion on how to financially support the children. “A therapist can be a big help then, too,” she adds.

“How you behave not only during but also after divorce can have a lasting generational impact. Graduations and weddings and grandbabies will be affected. We all know people whose parents ruined their weddings because they couldn’t be in a room together. You don’t want that. You don’t want your divorce to be something that lingers in your family for generations,” Caperton Fischer says.

“There’s nothing a court or I (as your attorney) can do to make your ex-spouse a different person,” she concludes. “But to minimize the lasting effects going forward, you need to figure out how to coexist. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from your therapist, friends, and family.”