The Fine Art of Self-romance:

5 min readApr 14, 2020

•••a practical guide to givin’ yourself some good good lovin’.

First off, I want y’all to do yourself a solid by making this decision today; Decide that henceforth, the main/constant provider of romance and intrigue in your life will be YOU.

You need to love yourself like it’s a religion, ‘cause the truth is, no one, absolutely no one, will love you better than you.

Self-romance is a way of life. It’s not some front you put up when your partner is acting up, neither is it some card you pull out when you feel abandoned by your friends and family.

It is also not just the reward you give yourself when you’ve thrashed your goals or checked off the things on your bucket list.

You’re going to be with yourself for the rest of your life anyway, so start taking an interest in yourself again.

SELF-ROMANCING TIPS:

Here are a few tips on how to romance yaselves😊

1. Whisper some sweet nothings to yourself:

Look, how we talk to ourselves massively impacts our self-esteem. It’s a subtle process because whenever we beat ourselves up internally, it’s like our bodies take a cue and starts to shrink and we end up losing our spark (read glow) or confidence in the process.

Get in the habit of correcting the negative self-talks and thoughts with kind words and phrases that grounds you, beams up your face and raises your shoulder a little higher.

Mai frenn, you know those things that you tell yourself that makes you smile coyly and gives you a lirru bit of extra shoulder pad?? say eeett to yourself!!😂. Don’t just say it o, say it and mean it.

What do you love about yourself? What are you proud of? If this feels difficult right now, remind yourself that you are fully deserving of feeling good and that the love you give yourself is unconditional. It might be a process, but dig deep and this can really transform how you feel about yourself.
If you are a visual person, you can choose to keep a journal or use the Notes app on your phone, and no matter what has happened that day, you make an effort to write one loving, positive thing about yourself.

In summary, toast yourself my friends.

Teh yasef tinsss, sweet sweet tinss my loves.🥰

2. Stimulate your brain:

If you’re the type that is into books, you can set the mood, pick up one of your favourite books and fall in deep with the characters’ journey.
Feeling cheeky? Listen to something interesting. It could even be an erotic podcast or an audio book on your commute to work or wherever, and no one will even know!😉
Feeling creative? you can start writing your own erotica or whatever flares you up at the moment, be it a story or an article such as this🙃

3. Gift Yourself:

After all the hustling and bustling hard, we all know that the grind don’t stop. So every now and then, make out time to take breaks and reflect on your hard work. Compensate yourself, this life na one o. Chop life before life chop you😂
Mind you, a gift doesn’t even have to be expensive, just make sure that you’re reaping the fruits of your hard labour.
It’s also a great way to mark your career milestones, big or small is a hallmark, a token of self-appreciation. You earned it!
And one more thing, always find time to celebrate your little wins, they matter too, they lead you to your big wins.

4. Channel your Inner Romantic towards you:

You may think that the days of letters and love notes are long gone, but they really don’t have to be. Schedule yourself an email for a random day in let’s say a month’s time; listing some things you really love about yourself. Plastering a smile on your future self’s face unexpectedly, is a whole new level of romance.

Always carry this sentiment of romantic surprise into your everyday life, by leaving sweet sticky love notes around your home; on your mirror, in your pockets or inside your books.

5. Take Yourself on a Date!

Commonly on social media(read instagram and twitter), we see lots and lots of “God whenings” to pictures of couples dining in fancy dinner locations and living their best lives at vacation destinations. It’s beautiful no doubt, but why wait for someone else?
Treat the most important person in your life- (before this goes above your head, you’re the most important person in your life) to a delicious meal and maybe a movie if you feel like it.
You can also choose to glam up and get out! If you feel self-conscious about dining alone, take a book with you or stay in and cook something new at home.

Stay-in date ideas:

You can decide to stay in and;

Read a book,
Watch a movie or a TV show,
Learn a new skill on YouTube,
Cook something new,
Bake,
Drink wine or cocktail to your favorite playlist or probably a romantic playlist to set the mood.

Outdoor date ideas:

You can go to:

a fancy restaurant,
the cinema,
an art gallery,
a Karaoke / open mic bar,
the beach,
a solo outdoor picnic,
a bookstore, a library or any book related gathering (e.g. Book club), if that’s your thing.