First you die, then you reborn

Since the start of this year I’m closing chapters in several aspects of my life and opening new ones without planning. After more than six months of:

  • Daily practice of decisions under pressure;
  • Failing in almost all the aspects of my life;
  • Deep sadness (or depression, call it as you wish);
  • Struggles and inner-conflicts;
  • Wax and wane of my emotional state of mind;
  • Hard work on learning how to deal with simultaneous challenges, after denial and acceptance;
  • Seeking for inner peace and my inner-smile;
  • Self-acceptance and forgiveness;
  • Seeking for help and auto-motivation

I managed to be able to close some doors from the past, there are few more than will be. Everything on it’s moment. I managed to get back with a huge bag of learned lessons, more experience and much more motivation, feeling more strong and happy that I’m here and I can write these lines, smiling and talk about it.

Why I’m doing it?

Because everyone speaks about success and very few talk about failures. I failed in many aspects (almost all of aspects of my life), but in one I manage to not fail: in keeping myself alive. And this is the most important. Somehow with all my “expertise” in failing in the same time on almost all aspects, I succeed on the most important. And this made me count my failings that I had during my lifetime and become proud of me that I passed through all and grateful for all the learnings from all the experiences, especially the failings.

- Is this easy?

- Hell, no.

- Is it painful?

- Hell, yes!

- It changes you?

- Yes. In fact it can improve you, to become a better person, wiser and more confident in yourself.

What I lived in the last seven months, until July, when I my life totally changed, gives me the right to say that closing the door to the past is the best decission that one can make for himself if the seeking is to be happy and to living his life, instead of counting the years passing by. Living in the past is causing only pain and keeps people away from living.

Stop cheating on the future with the past, is over.

#novavida #newchapter #enjoylife

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