Accept and Empower
Hello again, nerds! 🤓
So at this time I want to write something positive, as you can guess from the title. *spread my angely wings* 😇
Do you ever feel like you're like a weirdo, freak, disgusting, and feels like no one likes you even yourself? HA!
Congratulation, you're still alive. ☺
Do not worry about your mental, physical, character condition, as long as you don't go too far and still on your principles path.
You never know how powerful your life will be when you begin to accept yourself just the way you are and empower yourself to be right and good by your own way.
Lemme tell you my (long) story. Uhuk.
Once I was a kid, a 3 or 4 y.o baby, I was a quiet person. I played toy car by myself, didn't talk too much. Sisters said I was so obedient and too easy to be mocked and didn't fight back.
Sisters and Mom began to call me stubborn or fierce or had a bad character when I was in elementary school. I don't remember why it happened and what kind of mistake I had done so I got those 'sweet nicknames' back in the day.
When I was a kid, my Papa always taught me to be brave and never be afraid 'though you are a woman and young, especially if you're right. He even taught me how to kill a rat and don't be afraid to pick and burry the dead rat. Well, thanks for the lesson and practice, Pap!
Grew as a teenage girl, I became so fussy! Especially in school. My junior high teacher once told my Papa it could be because I was the youngest daughter and had been left by all sisters who went to college in other city, parents were working morning til night at shop so I was home all alone day by day, and spoke a lot to friends to cure my loneliness.
Ugh, dear teacher, why did you make my puberty story sounds so miserable? Meh. But it possibly did.
Of course I had A LOT of friends. 'Cause I talked too much. HA!
I ever got a birthday gifts from 2 classes because of how popular I was. Definitely, it wasn't my beauty but my craziness, stupidity, and hilarious jokes. LOL.
Not important to know but I was the most tough and tomboy girl in junior high, and I got boy-haircut-model. I was so brave even some boys afraid of me. I didn't know why I found it so cool. 😎
(Just realise I prefer toy car, PS, and books rather than dolls and barbie and have a chit-chat with it. I prefer action movies rather than fairytale or disney princesses movies, princess stories sound stupid for me. 😐 )
In senior high, I learned about life so much. After I had many friends, I made some mistakes such as boyfriend-thing, jealousy-thing, popularity-comparison. Gosh, what a cheesy high school life I even want to vomit while I'm remembering that. 😂
I easily talked negative about friends. I lost many friends and then lost my true identity. Felt like I was the worst girl alive.
In 2012, I went to a University in Jakarta and got part time job there. I was churching in a well-known church. I repented my rudeness and built a better character. Developed my true identity in God for the second time. I fell down and got up so many times in my Christianity-life until I could stand firm on my principles regardless of what the churchians did to me with good or bad.
After all of those self improvement efforts, I became so brave. I spoke truth, I shout justice, I state what's wrong, I criticize dirty-politic and wicked-fraudulence.
For example:
- I was never afraid of giving my opinion on social media, or daily chit-chat whether it is about political, social, psychological issues. I don’t care if anyone is hurt. As long as I speak the truth and logically true, everything is fine for me. That’s why some people dislike me, and some are the most faithful besties to me, like none in between. 😂
- I never feel ashamed to express my disappointment to anyone, and never keep my feeling by myself. I need to tell my fellas what I’m feeling that time so they won’t misunderstood when I talk.
- I always be the leader of rebellion (what?!). Yes, if there’s any injustice, I will be the very first woman who shouts the loudest for justice and be very mad at it.
- I ever told my boyfriend, Stevanus Ronald, that I never feel afraid of anything. I never feel worry and I don’t know why. Even until this time I write this, I still don’t know why. I’m never afraid of death, or being killed, or being jailed because of my undoubtful and strict speeches, articles, socmed posts, opinions, etc. I always have in mind that, if God wants me to die, then I die, if God doesn’t want me to die yet, then I wont. Why worry?
At some stages, I thought I was a psychopath. I had mental sickness. And I asked my boyfriend to break up before he mentally depressed live a life with me. (Praise God he rejected that special offer)😅
Because he ever said he was afraid people would threaten me.
But no. You are made to be you and only you. No one can be you and the perfect you.
Once a pastor ever preached to my church like this, "There is no one can do the responsibility that God gave only for you. As you can not do the responsibility that God gave only for me."
Nevertheless, it probably no one can (or want to) understand why you are like this. They say you are doing wrong. Remember, people often make their own standard as a comparison to other's. It makes everything's not right and causes only mess. Your standard is not the same as other's.
(Sorry to talk about belief at last, but the only life standard is The Holy Bible. Amen 😆)
Don't push yourself too hard to be perfect. It sounds so cliche and hard to carry out, but yea once again you just need to accept and empower yourself to be the better you day by day.
So if your past has made you to be you right now, nothing has to be changed. Just be the best kind of you. Work for a job position that needs your kinda character the most and make your greatest masterpiece in life. Do your hobby to make something unique. Speak your mind and be a great public figure. Sing your life song and make the world sings along with you.
Cheers!
Love,
Monica Lie @monicalie95
