Looking through all the ticked-off responses I think many people are failing to understand that this is, um, you know, satire. She’s *making fun* of drivers who perceive cyclists to be like this. I thought it was hilarious.
This phrase might have tipped you off? “ I will only be happy when my bones are ground to dust in the road and my flesh has adhered to the asphalt and you are late for your 9:00 Meeting with the Board.”