- A toddler will sleep perpendicular to the length of the bed, especially if he is sharing the bed with others.
- A toddler will make sure to have his feet as close to his daddy’s head as he can.
- A toddler, while sleeping, will kick his daddy in the face at random intervals so said daddy cannot get prepared for when the next kick will come.
- A daddy will not mind being kicked so long as the kicks are not at his nose, or his windpipe.
- A toddler will make sure to find his nose and windpipe to make sure a daddy cannot sleep well.
- A daddy, in the middle of the night, will think about sleeping in a goalie’s mask so as to protect his nose from being broken, and his windpipe from being crushed.
- A mommy will try to readjust a toddlers feet so they are not in a daddy’s face.
- A mommy will not realize how this is futile and is a waste of energy.
- A daddy will move closer and closer to the edge of the bed as if that will save him from kicks.
- A daddy, upon realizing he’s about to fall out of the bed, will learn that laying with his feet to the head of the bed will prevent kicks to the windpipe.
- The next night, upon hearing a toddler cry in the next room, a daddy will bring him into the bed and forget all of the lessons he’d learned the night before.
- A daddy isn’t smart.