This four-word rule is your ticket to employment
Or, how Kate Kemp came to realize that you get more with honey than you do with vinegar — especially when you’re out of work. This is the eighth in a 13-part series about life after a layoff.
By Kate Kemp, Monster contributor
If I could only give two words of advice to the recently unemployed, they’d be: “have patience.”
Being calm and actually agreeing with the people who insist that everything will work out for the best is completely counterintuitive, but it makes a hell of a lot more sense than running around like a crazy person.
“But I’m desperate,” you may argue. “I don’t know where my next paycheck is coming from and I need a job RIGHT NOW.” True. But that desperation manifests itself in two ways and both are terrible. Either the person interviewing you is going to sense your desperation and question your stability as a new employee or you’re going to settle for the very first job offer you get and end up hating it. So, chill.
Granted, that advice is way easier to give than to follow.
Case in point: I vividly remember throwing myself across the bed face-first and yelling into the covers, “WHY ISN’T ANYONE CALLING ME BAAAAACK?!” I also remember the frustration I felt when my boyfriend sat beside me, stroked my hair and lovingly reminded me that it had only been three days since I’d been laid off. Intellectually, I was fully aware that landing a new full-time gig as a creative director in New York would take more than three days. Emotionally, however, I was no better than the squirrel-doting spoiled brat from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Veruca Salt. I wanted it NOW.
Luckily, my waiting period wasn’t terrible. Within a week, I had a freelance gig at another agency in the city. And, honestly, it had nothing to do with the fact that I’d updated my portfolio and resume, been to meet-and-greet lunches, and interviewed via phone and video chats. It also had nothing to do with talking to placement agencies or throwing up the unemployment bat signal on every one of my social networks. It had everything to do with following the four-word rule I enforce on and off the clock: Don’t be an asshole (DBAA).
Blunt, simple and powerful, I happen to think those four words are the foundation for success in any career, in any job search, and really, in life in general. Great things can happen when you put DBAA to good use.
HOW DBAA WORKS
DBAA is really the adult version of, “treat others as you’d want to be treated.”
To be fair, I can’t say I follow the rule 100% of the time. I am, after all, human. But I do try to apply it as often as possible. Everyone has their own way of not being a jerk, of course. Mine involves being helpful, feeding people and doing stupid things to make them laugh.
A few examples: In my old job, when I saw teammates were swamped and I was caught up for the day, I wouldn’t just say sayonara and head for the door, I’d check in to see if I could help out. Additionally, I was always willing to make time for people looking for advice. And I wouldn’t book a meeting before 9 without promising breakfast, at noon without promising lunch or after 5 without promising alcohol.
In my experience, this way of working results in earning the friendship and support of the people around you. And that support is invaluable when your life falls apart.
THE MAGIC OF DBAA
The day after I’d been let go from my New York agency, my phone flooded with encouraging and tear-inducing messages from dozens of former colleagues. I got everything from offers to write recommendations to offers (made in jest) to break the kneecaps of the people who’d kicked me to the curb.
One colleague and friend made sure every branded tchotchke, idea-filled journal, book and pair of heels stacked around my desk made it to the mailroom before the end of his last day at our former agency (unlike my departure, his was voluntary). He started his new gig the next week and, because he is an amazing guy, he contacted me the instant he heard about an opening at his new company. Thanks to his glowing recommendation, I started working there as a contractor the day after my interview.
There’s no way I would’ve landed this gig without his support. And there’s no way I would’ve been able to pay my rent without it. I cannot thank him enough for helping me through this tough time, but I can promise to be there for him whenever he needs me: a paramount piece of the DBAA rule. It’s not just about avoiding bad behavior, it’s about going above and beyond to help others whenever you can, however you can.
In the process, you’ll build the support network you need to help you through every tough work situation — whether it’s dealing with crappy client feedback or dealing with unemployment. And, if they’re as awesome as my crew is, they may even help you find your next gig. Which means you can afford to be just a little more patient while you’re waiting.
Read Part 1: Why it’s OK to cry into a hot dog after you’re let go
Read Part 2: This is what it’s like to wake up unemployed
Read Part 3: Playing ‘Fallout 4’ helped me with my job search
Read Part 4: WARNING: Portfolio revamp may cause existential crisis
Read Part 5: Unemployed? Hire anxiety and depression as your personal assistants
Read Part 6: The art of investigating interviewers
Read Part 7: The path to enlightenment is… unclear
Kate Kemp is currently the Group Creative Director at HackerAgency in Seattle.
Originally published at www.monster.com.
