Do Not Be Discouraged: The 5th Commandment of a Healthy Mindset

Monty Hobson
Aug 31, 2018 · 9 min read
Your Mindset is Killing You : The 10 Commandments of a Healthy Mindset

“Let no feeling of discouragement prey upon you, and in the end you will succeed.” — Abraham Lincoln

The true story of Maria Da Conceicao is inspiring, and a reminder of the necessary grit life requires of us all. Born in Portugal, little Maria was two-years-old when her birth mother grew ill. Her father was not in the picture, but thankfully, a widowed African immigrant and mother-of-six, named Maria Cristina Matos, agreed to look after little Maria for a short time — until little Maria’s mother got well. Tragically, little Maria’s mother never recovered, and suddenly, the migrant house cleaner was forced to make a decision whether to take in little Maria as her own. Maria Cristina Matos already had six children and was paid only meager wages. She later recalled, to little Maria, that she could not allow the unthinkable — abandoning a child — and so her mantra became, “if I can feed six, I can feed seven.”

Little Maria Conceicao learned a spirit of hard work and discipline from her adopted mother. From childhood, little Maria and her six siblings took paying jobs cleaning homes, together sharing the responsibility to put food on the family table. At the age of 15, little Maria’s work ethic stood out, and she was able to get a privileged job cleaning hotel rooms. Providentially, one of the visitors of the hotel, took notice of Maria’s passionate determination, and offered her a job as a flight attendant with Emirates Airline. Though the family had struggled for years to put food on the table, seemingly in-an-instant, little Maria’s new salary would supply the entirety of her family’s needs. It would also mean she could leave her humble dwellings, and travel the world. The irony never escaped little Maria, and she often laughed that after 15 years of hunger, the most difficult part of her new job was asking her passengers the question, “chicken or beef?”

In 2005, a grown Maria worked a flight to Dhaka, Bangladesh, which included a 24-hour layover. Staying in a hotel — like the ones she once cleaned — Maria ventured on to the streets, and stumbled upon impoverished slums. She saw children with distended stomachs from hunger, and the stark reality haunted her soul. Having experienced the devastation of poverty herself, Maria was tempted to discouragement. What could she do? After all, most of her salary was already being sent to her family in Portugal. Still, she’d learned from experience, her discouragement was momentary, and if it was seized by the neck, and thrust out, a creative plan of positive action would take it’s place. That is what she did, and immediately, her desire led her towards a plan to help.

Maria cancelled her next holiday, and instead flew back to Dhaka to serve for two weeks, feeding the hungry and helping to teach the children how to read. Maria’s job was based in Dubai, and the economy was booming. With each trip back to Dubai, Maria boldly asked wealthy customers and acquaintances to donate more money for the children. She promised she would spend all of the money on the children of Dhaka, and proved it by donating the rest of her own salary. Soon, she had enough money to start a school for three of the children. The school, which she named after her adopted mom, provided education and food for three, but every time Maria returned to Dhaka, there were more children begging to be part of the blessing.

Maria decided she could not turn them away; and she made new plans to expand the school. Inspired by her adopted Mom, her new motto became, “if I can feed three, I can feed six-hundred.” So she set out to raise the money for 600 children. At first her plan to pay-it-forward was successful. But then the recession hit, and Maria’s donations disappeared almost overnight. Maria was tempted to devastation. How would she feed 600 children now? But again, her experience with discouragement taught her to take it by the neck and throw it out! So she did, and then, she channeled her sadness into a plan. Maria did what all brilliant people do, she went to the computer and Googled “how to make a lot of money fast!”

Google returned a search result suggesting the best way to raise money was to become the first Portuguese woman to climb Mount Kilimanjaro, in Africa (5895 meters). That made sense, so Maria found an instructor on Google, and he told her she could do it, but it would take three-years-of-training. Maria refused the instructor’s timeline because she knew the children could not wait. She insisted he train her in less than one year’s time. The instructor did his part, and after only one year, in 2010, Maria summited Mount Kilimanjaro! Momentarily, Maria had additional funds to sponsor more children, but she did not yet have enough publicity to reach her goal of feeding and educating all 600 children.

Determined, Maria returned to Google for the fastest way to make money. This time the search returned a link suggesting she could be the first woman to run a marathon on each of the seven emirates in the UAE in seven days, and complete a successful trek to the North Pole. Again, Maria searched Google and found a trainer. The trainer said it would take years to train a non-runner, but Maria insisted he would do it in less than one year’s time. The trainer did his part, and in 2011, Maria succeeded as the first Portuguese person to run a marathon on each of the seven emirates, and trek the North Pole in a calendar year.

The publicity she gained translated to more sponsors for her children, but she was still hundreds-of-children shy of her goal, so, you guessed it, she returned to Google. This time the search results said if she climbed Mount Everest she could raise the money (yes, you read that right, Mount Everest). Well, by now you know the pattern, she found a guide who told her she could do it, but it would take five years to build the internal fortitude and physical strength. But, you guessed it, Maria insisted she could only give one year’s time.

Ultimately, the guide wrangled her into devoting two years to preparation, and in 2013, Maria Conceicao became the first Portuguese woman to summit Mount Everest (8,848 meters), after training with her guide by climbing Mount Elbrus (5,642 meters) and Mount Aconcaguo (6,960 meters) in 2012–13. She was awarded three world records, and received scores of publicity. But sadly, the recession was still in full-swing and Maria was unable to drum up enough sponsorship for all her children in Dhaka. Anyone else would give up, but Maria was no stranger to defeat, and she was no prisoner to discouragement. Maria determined not to lose hope and, by now you’ve caught the pattern, she went back to Google!

This time the interweb told her she could be the first Portuguese woman to swim the English Channel. There was just one problem. You guessed it. Maria did not know how to swim! The solution? Yes, she found an instructor on Google. The recreational swimming coach taught her to swim in one year, but admitted up-front that he could not, nor could most professional swimmers, build up the lung capacity, endurance and strength to fight the channel’s currents. The 21-mile journey often spun swimmers around or dragged them off course by hours, and in either case, made it notoriously difficult to accomplish the feat. Maria insisted and she learned to swim quite well. After more than 15-hours of swimming the English channel, Maria was riddled with jelly fish stings, completely turned around directionally, and badly needed to be rescued by her trailing boat.

Undaunted in the slightest, Maria regrouped and returned to Google. In 2014, Maria gathered publicity and sponsorships, running seven ultra-marathons on seven continents in six-weeks, then seven ultra-marathons in seven days, and finishing the year running seven marathons on seven continents in 11 days. At the end of 2014 Maria held Six Guinness World Records, and her foundation — named after her adopted mother www.mariacristinafoundation.org—donated every dollar directly to the children without administrative cost (which Maria paid out of her own salary). Still remarbably, even by early 2018, Maria was $300,000 dollar shy of the money necessary to feed and educate all 600 children; that is, until she shared her story at the John Maxwell Leadership Summit.

On Tuesday February 20, 2018, some 10-years after Maria Conceicao began her dream of feeding Dhaka’s poorest-of-the-poor, I sat with 5,000 would-be John Maxwell coaches training to receive our certification in the ballroom of The Orlando World Center Marriott. John Maxwell taught us how our passions help us overcome our discouragements, and he invited Maria up to tell her story as an illustration. When Maria finished, John put his arm around her and vowed to raise the remaining $300,000 dollars on her behalf. Spontaneously, one man came down the isle as John spoke, and the man placed a handful of green money on the stage at the feet of John and Maria. John looked down reflexively, and remarked, “what’s this? Is this a donation to Maria?” He tried to continued on, but with every word a new person began walking down the isle, at first a trickle, and then a flood. Maria’s hands covered her mouth in holy wonder, and tears began to flow from John’s eyes. One, and then another, brought their money to the stage, until the enormous ballroom was a traffic jam of donors.

John wiped the tears from his eyes, and cleared the frog from his throat, asking his staff to jump into action. “Please find something to put this in. I’ve never seen anything like this. Please, I want to make sure Maria has every dollar.” John, Maria and the ballroom watched in awe as the staff found hats, tote bags, backpacks, and anything else they could find, to collect the unstoppable generosity of this sacred moment. After 10-years of overcoming one-obstacle-after-the-other, Maria Conceicao, was seeing the momentum of hope she’d created by her unwillingness to be discouraged. Now, the river of her unshakeable dreams was rolling down hill, and before the day was done over $150,000 dollars had been raised by a small army of coaches. John promised to personally raise the remaining funds or give the outstanding amount himself. And he did. Maria’s foundation continues feeding 600 children to the present day.


The antidote for discouragement is a clear picture of what you want, followed by persistent grit, and a commitment to continuous forward movement — even in the face of multiple obstacles. Maria’s story can encourage you, but don’t stop there. Be clear about what you want, then get started formulating your plan. Here’s a simple step-by-step for planning:

  1. Fix your mind on what you desire. Be definite and go into detail about the specifics of the dream you have for yourself and/or others.
  2. Determine exactly what you intend to give in return for your dream. There is no such reality as ‘something for nothing’.
  3. Write out a definite plan for carrying out your desire/dream. Then begin at once, whether you are ready or not, to put this plan into action. It will also help if you tell someone, who you trust. This will ensure you have support when you feel discouraged.
  4. Read your written plan aloud, twice daily, once just before retiring at night, and once after arising in the morning. As you read, encourage yourself with the actions you took, that day, towards your plan. Remind yourself that dreams take time to develop into reality. Remind yourself that obstacles, failures and discouragements are temporary; and they can be thrown out by constant forward progress.

How great is your desire for the goal you are striving towards? Are you determined to climb Mount Everest in exchange? You must be. And to be sure, you will need guides, trainers, instructors and coaches to help you build endurance and perseverance. Ask for help often, and return to your plan whenever you face the temptation of discouragement.

“Dreams are free, but the journey isn’t. When you find your why, you’ll find your way.” — John Maxwell

Let no feeling of discouragement prey upon you, and in the end, you will succeed.


Next time we’ll talk about the sixth commandment of a healthy mindset : Do Not Complain.

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