Renewed energy.
I like to say that I am powered by people and peanut butter.
And most of the time it’s true. One or the other does the trick. Both together is even better. But lately it’s been failing me. And I need to find another trick.
And I really cant seem to figure out what will do.
I’ve had indecent amount of peanut butter, by itself with a spoon, on banana pancakes, on toast. Anything really.
I’ve pushed myself to get out of my “room”, to meet people, to hang out more, to open up about how low I’ve been feeling lately.
And if it helps a little bit, if it brings a smile to my face and warmth to my heart, it does not last long.
Because I cannot bring myself to fully express the extend of the darkness that seems to be coming over me.
I don’t feel like imposing when everyone is having a good time, I really don’t want to bring that vibe on others, who already have their own lives to deal with.
So I open up a bit, exchange some kind words, discuss some cheering up options and retreat. And convince myself it will pass. Because it will.
