Chiron, Gemini, Second House — Moon, Pisces, Twelfth House.
Something has happened this past weekend. I feel that I shall never truly be the same again. My heart is broken but I know it is the darkness before the first light of dawn. This is me, flowing out the pain in order to heal (Pisces) through communication (Gemini).
There is not much written on the internet about these two placements, which this weekend was painfully triggered in my life as they were transited. I have spent years googling “Chiron” “Gemini” “Second House” to no avail, there is more available online about Pisces Moons, but we’ll get to that bit later. I hope that my experience from this past weekend will give those of you who are seeking insights a story that provides assistance in your journey.
Chiron, Gemini, Second House
Where in your life do you keep that pocket of absolute pain, the hurtful wound that never ceases? That intrinsic shame? For me, Chiron is in my Second House: Values. My finances are a mess and in today’s society, this asks ‘what am I worth?’
Chiron, the wounded healer, is an asteroid that has the traits where oneself is eternally wounded but through its learnings, it can heal others. My own finances are scattered with negative dashes. Indebtedness is a swamp, its quicksand, its a bucket of crabs; I can't get out. I have sent affirmations, I have asked my spirit guides, I have set universal intentions. I have been practical, I have created spreadsheet budgeting trackers, I have cut up bank cards, I have schemed and invested. At the age of 32, it is still the same. Ironically, I work for a charitable Foundation as a philanthropist — helping others with money.
But the shame, the shame of my finances. I cannot speak of it.
Gemini is a sign that has taken me a long time to understand, it is known to be mental and communicative. But, I have found the mutable signs (Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, and Pisces) very hard to pin down. I guess that is their nature. There is an element of wholeness and duality in each: Virgo is split between the physical (virgin) and what is to come (the unseen and emptiness of her womb). Sagittarius is split between the animal and the human (wise or violent, brave or mild). Gemini and Pisces are today’s topic of mutability.
I have seen the twins of Gemini, who in their lowest vibration are tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum. In my Second House, they toy my thoughts and speech so that I cannot think about money objectively. Now, I can finally talk about Gemini with a level of understanding that has taken me a long time to see. The Jekyll and Hyde, the seen and unseen, the benevolent and the trickster, the same-same but different. One twin allows me to talk with pride about my financial wins, the other twin is subversive and manipulative; I keep money secrets.
The ruler of Gemini is Mercury, have a look in your chart where you can find it as that will give you an inclination of what needs to happen to help this Chiron placement. My Mercury is in the 7th House Scorpio (conjunct. Pluto and chart-ruler VenusRx), I need to talk to ‘OTHER’ — my fiancé, a colleague, a friend in order for me to control (Pluto) my finances. Easy right?..
Hell no. Speaking about your pain is really really hard. Finding words to bend, give justice, and paint an exact picture of what cannot truly be said is super difficult. With my Fiancé, I end up just being shouted at because I didn't tell her the truth. I tell her about serendipitously earning £100 one day but I hide that I spent £200 on the credit card. If I simply sit down every week and say here is what I have spent, without hiding and lying, then on paper, I should be ok. It is and it isn't that straightforward.
But deep down in me is something called an ‘element of irreducible rascality’ (as coined by Alan Watts). It’s like pushing a rubber ducky down into the bath water, only for it to pop back up again and this time, upside down.
I have simply the best ideas on how to make personal financial gains, each of them requires me to be incognito as there is a level of shadiness, even I know that I won't be allowed to do it. Needless to say, each of them always fails.
Which brings me to this weekend. Pisces is the end of the astrological cycle, it is the sign of endings, undoings, unravellings.. And, I bet you can see where this is going…
In January 2018, my NYE resolution was to make some financial gains through investing. I wanted it to be done on automation as I had already learned that I am too emotional (Pisces-Moon) to make sound investments (Chiron -Second House) on my own. I found a website offering a Forex (foreign exchange — currency trading) service, which was exactly what I was after. I was swooned and groomed by a silver-tongued salesman, I deposited £2,000 and watched the service reel the profits in on a reputable iPhone app.
I didn't tell my fiancé initially (because of the reasons aforementioned). I am an awful liar and my secret-keeping is worse, she found out, we argued. I also had a credit card bill due for £700, again, she found out, we argued. I was forced to withdraw £700 from the initial Forex investment and pay that off.
Which is when I was convinced this investment fund was for real. Unfortunately, now my fiancé did too. We are due to get married in August, we used this investment service to make gains on our wedding saving. We saved around £8,000 together and put it into this app. This weekend, we realised that the whole system was a fraud and our entire savings were gone. Our money has unraveled and vanished, the investment service refuses to allow us to withdraw any funds, the internet is awash with threads saying ‘SCAM’ or ‘HOAX’. I feel like the world’s biggest fool.
A big part of the pain is that my shame (Chiron) is now public. It wasn’t just our money, but my father-in-law and my family helped us and it was there’s too. My boss now also knows as we have asked his views on legal advice. Soon, I will have to inform others in our wider circle as it will impact our wedding, I am not sure how that will plan out.
But what was it that happened for it to occur this past weekend? Why not the many months before?
Here are two charts, the top is my birth chart and below, is what was occurring in the sky after the proverbial penny had dropped.
In the bottom chart, if you look at Pisces, there are four planets in conjunction — Neptune, Sun, Mercury (in Pisces) and Chiron (in Aries). Chiron is at the important 1st degree of Aries, a whole new cycle, a new sense of self. Also, Mercury, the ruler of Gemini, went retrograde. And lastly, Uranus (the great awakener) is at the 1st degree of Taurus (the ruler of the second house and my Ascendant)… Boom! A witches cauldron of Astrology.
Moon, Pisces, Twelfth House.
Talking about the supernatural, I have always been prone to psychic dreams. I have stories from every age throughout my life where I have understood meanings of my life through lucid dreams. The universe doesn't run in a linear timeline its infinitely multidimensional. And at times, my dreams have given me a psychic vision of the future (no lottery numbers as of yet, but then again have you ever met a rich psychic?), it has connected me with other none-worldly beings, and most commonly, it prepares me for a trauma that is yet to come. This is all Pisces (oneness/healing), Moon (emotion/safety), Twelfth House (the unseen/sleep).
Over the past week, my dreams have been crystal clear for a continuously prolonged length of nights (Neptune in Pisces conjunct Mercury), I have witnessed accounts of sleep paralysis, events from my youth, and accounts of questioning deep held beliefs. On Saturday morning, I awoke with my heart in my throat.
My dream was simple. I cheated on my fiance with an enigma, it was utter lust for a shadow. I lost all my wise and patient friends in sexual pursuit of this enigma and once it was caught, it vanished like smoke. I was left with shame, I confessed to my partner, her family, my family, whilst all were sat around an empty dinner table. And, I was publicly judged. My only grace was a single man who stood away from the table and took me with him, he was smartly dressed. He put his arm around my shoulder and comforting, he said, “I see you”.
The enigma was my invisible sensationalist obsession with money. I am hoping the man finds me, or, is it me? Am I to reconcile myself through forgiveness? And, is this post part of that?
Neptune, the god of dreams, Mercury, the god of communication, Sun, -generally god itself-, and Chiron, the wounded healer, were all in conversation and in transit over my natal Moon (and loosely the North Node) that night in Pisces (and Aries).
Pisces is represented by two fish swimming in opposite directions within the same water. I can see Pisces energy all around me, during March in the UK, the weather is unsure if it is winter or spring. It is the very nature of Mutable. Are we going backward or forward? Also, I think of Pisces as a womb, the darkness where all things are created and then come to light in Aries. It makes you look at all that has occurred over the last cycle, it goes over and takes away from you that what no longer serves you.
For me, a Pisces Moon in the Twelfth House when it is at a high vibration is an amazing psychic and imaginative ally, a guiding intuition, a spark of otherworldliness and an advocate of oneness while walking along my own road paved with fantasy and adventure. It is a water sign and as it heals, it clears all that needs to be released out of the body. At the lowest vibration, this placement is an oversized Alice, stuck in a small dark room, crying and crying because she can't get out.
She cries so much so that she creates the sea and has the potential to drown in her own sorrow. But that wouldn’t be any good now, would it? After noticing her own insanity at the circumstance, she manages to swim to shore to start a new adventure by being very small in order to go through the keyhole. She swims to shore for her new adventure to be born, the cycle has come full circle (Aries).
I cried and cried and cried on Saturday and my ego feels very small right now indeed, but through the keyhole, I must go. At some point, everyone will know my mistake. My Fiancé is being ever so stoic and practical. She has valiantly shouldered an equal share of the blame. She feels that its a *we* issue and not a *you* issue — you can see why I am marrying her. But lessons are being learned, that I can tell you. At least I am lucky enough to be sharing this adventure with someone like her.
Chiron is related to Saturn (to cut a very long story short). Every time that I think I have the scheme to make extra money, I simply fall flat on my face. Saturn does not do shortcuts. He is an old English teacher in corduroy trousers and a musty cardigan who makes you repeat lines in order to fully learn them. As a child, you literally hate him. As an adult looking back at your childhood, you realise that it was all from a place of love and you never really got to say thank you.
My finances are my pain, they are my Achilles heel and I will only be able to work it out through working with others. I must go the long way round, there are no shortcuts. I accept all of this.
Chiron is a noble archetype. In the mythology, he is an immortal who is shot in the leg by a fatal arrow. He cannot die but he cannot live. He is a natural healer but after endlessly and tirelessly trying to heal his own wound, he accepts his failings and eventually, his fate.
He walks to Zeus and bargains an exchange, his life for that of Prometheus’ (who was paying his penalty for stealing fire from the gods and bringing it to mankind). Once the bargain was accepted, Chiron replaced Prometheus who was chained to a rock, pecked at by ravens, and left to die. Zeus saw the core truth in Chiron’s actions and the nobility was overpowering. Zeus renounced Chiron’s immortality and for his integrity, he gave him a place upon the stars for eternity. Chiron's parting promise was that whenever there was a need for his healing service to train up demi-gods, he will be present within the world. After all, aren't we all demi-gods in some form?
I am about to hand over all my financial dealings to my Fiancé. It is in both our best interests. I have accepted that I don't have the auric/mental/lucky energy of the successful management of my money. If I take Chiron’s example then this is the only way, to give in to my wound. It is clear and easy for me to state this, but life is each of us in her great game is a complex phenomenon, and, it may not be that simple. The element of irreducible rascality will ever continue and that is energy where if it isn't given the conscious-space it needs, it will troublesomely fester. All I can really do is ask for help more often, but as is the case with Pisces Moon’s…
